INFLUENCE - The Art and Science of Selling

Throw Your Hat Over the Fence

2011-11-15T10:09:00.000-08:00

A wise old farmer asked his fourteen year old grandson to help him with a long overdue project, to remove the boards from a six foot high fence that needed repair one saturday morning. He laid out exactly WHAT he wanted done and WHY it was so important, as any good leader would. The HOW was up to his grandson.

He checked back on his grandson an hour later only to find the young man standing there wearing his favorite cowboy hat staring at the imposing task.

Not a single board had been removed. “What’s wrong Johnny?” the grandfather asked. Looking down at his cowboy boots in shame, he replied, “Well, this fence is so high and its going to take a lot of work and time for me to get all the boards down. I am having a hard time getting started,” tipping his favorite hat back on his young head in frustration.

With that, the farmer grabbed his grandson’s cowboy hat and threw it over the fence.

“Hey, why did you do that! That’s my favorite hat!”

“Johnny, as I told you father when he was your age, in order to get your hat back, you are going to have to take down a few boards. Once you get going, you might find you have to take down a few more. At that point, you may decide to stop for the day. That’s okay because you can come back tomorrow, throw your hat over the fence again and take down a few more boards. Eventually, before you know it, the job is done.”

The young man smiled, looked up his grandpa and went to work.

Sometimes, we just have to toss our favorite hat over big jobs and start. Action cures fear. What are you putting off? Are you feeling overwhelmed? Go find your favorite hat and toss it over your next big fence project.

Mark Matteson, Author, Speaker
206.697.0454

Watch my inspiring demo video:
http://sparkingsuccess.net

How Do You Know It's Bad

2011-09-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

My oldest son Colin has been playing professional basketball since he graduated from University of Fairbanks, Alaska in 2009. First he played in Cottbus, Germany and led his team to the championship. Next it was off to Darwin, Australia where he averaged 27 points per game including three 42 point games (hitting 10 three pointers several times in one game!) Recently he signed with a club in England.

We were excited. My grandfather was a Coldstream Guard in London during WW2. I spend five summers in England as a child. My late mother met my father in Ryslip, England in 1949 where my father was playing semi-pro basketball while stationed in Uxbridge. Colin skills and hard work had united three generations. It had come full circle.

When Colin arrived at Heathrow Airport last week, he was detained for seven hours by customs. Evidently he did not have the correct Visa. Inevitably he was sent back to America to sort out this faux-pas. He mentioned he was hungry after six hours and was directed to a table where there was a bag of potato chips and a moldy orange. (The British are not famous for their food.)

Devastated, exhausted after 36 hours of traveling we sat down to discuss his options and next steps. In the midst of his pain I asked him, “How do you know its bad?” He looked at me like I was insane. We went to work securing the correct visa online. It took six hours. He was told he would need to visit a company that would take his fingerprints and photograph and he would have his new and correct visa in 7-10 business days.

Three days later he received a call from a First Division Team in Ireland. An offer for five times what the English Team was going to pay him! He leaves for Limmerick, Ireland on Tuesday.

When one door closes, another opens up. Every dark cloud has a silver lining. How do you know its bad? Now he understands those are not simply clever phrases in the midst of adversity and setback. They are laws live Gravity.

The next time you receive some distressing news, remember the question, HOW DO YOU KNOW IT’S BAD? It might just land you in Ireland!

A Different Kind of Teacher PART THREE

2011-09-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

Declarations are a simple way to assimilate the positive precepts into your life and make them your own. Below are the 13 Habits that will change your life for good. Read each one two to five times a day for a week and then move to the next one. At the end of the year, you have gone through each one four times. Ben Franklin taught this simple strategy in his autobiography, perhaps the first self-help book ever written in this country. It worked for Ben. Maybe it will work for me and you?

I choose to be HAPPY today! I am as happy as I make my mind up to be. I make gratitude lists regularly. I love my life.

I dominate the LISTENING in every conversation. I listen, pause, question and paraphrase. “Yes and then what happened...?” is a favorite phrase of mine.

I SMILE twice an hour, 24 times a day! I am quick to Laugh. Joy and gratitude are habits of thought and feeling today.

I look for ways to humbly SERVE others every day.

I ACCEPT people, place and things as being exactly the way they are supposed to be. I love people and life.

I look SHARP and dress well. I have self-respect.

I take personal RESPONSIBILITY for all of my actions and decisions. When I am wrong I promptly admit it and move on.

I enjoy a POSITIVE outlook on life. I am an Optimist.

I FORGIVE others easily and quickly.

I am a FAMILY FIRST Guy.

I PRAISE others consistently every day. I am a GOOD finder!

I use SELF-EFFACING Humor and others feel safe around me.

I am FIT at Fifty Four. I eat small portions, quality food and exercise 6x a week. I love to workout.

Mark Matteson, Author, Speaker

206.697.0454

email = mark@sparkingsuccess.net

Watch my inspiring demo video:

http://sparkingsuccess.net

A Different Kind of Teacher PART TWO

2011-09-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

6.Shabby vs. Sharp?
They say clothes make the man. They say we only get one chance to make a great first impression. They say. I know a fellow of modest means that always looks sharp. He is a technician. He has a good job but isn’t rich. When he walks in the room, people turn and look at him. He irons his clothes. His shoes are shined. His hair and beard are neatly trimmed. He has self-respect. He doesn’t look like he slept in his clothes the night before. The color of his shoes match his belt. Little things. He isn’t slovenly. He eats right and takes care of himself. He cares about how he looks but doesn’t obsess about it. He makes a great first, second and third impression. I am working on looking sharp today. I used to show up looking like I slept in my clothes. It’s different today. I iron my pants, shine my shoes, make certain my clothes match. It’s astonishing how little time it takes to look sharp vs. shabby.

7.Excuses vs. Responsibility?
We either make excuses or finish what we start. We either blame others or grow up and do what we say we are going to do. We keep our word to ourselves. Only then can we keep it to others. When we blame others we are really indicting ourselves. Do you remember Aesop’s fable of the of the fox and grapes? After unsuccessfully trying to reach the grapes up on the vine one hot, dusty August day, the angry fox walked away still hungry and thirsty complaining aloud, “They are probably sour grapes anyway. I didn’t really want them.” I don’t want to be the fox. I don’t want to be Mr. Sour Grapes. It’s time for me to grow up, to take personal responsibility for all of my actions and decisions.

8.Negative vs. Positive?
Which one are you? Half Empty or Half Full? Pessimist or Optimist? According to a recent study at Chicago University, Optimists live longer than Pessimists do and have a better time along the way. What is your philosophy? The difference is Pessimists believe the causes of their tragedies and setbacks are permanent, pervasive and personal. (“It’s going to last forever, it’s going to undermine everything I do and it’s me.”) Optimists on the other hand believe the opposite. (“It’s temporary, it will change and I have influence over its outcome.!”) It’s a choice. It’s an attitude. It’s a philosophy. I choose to be an Optimist. Guess what? As a result of that choice, I will live longer and have a better time along the way.

9.Resentment or Forgiveness?
For the first 25 years of my life, I would seethe with resentment over an issue I had caused. I stepped on the toes of others, and was oblivious to the effects of my actions and then I would feel sorry for myself while I blamed others for my problems. Soon, this big resentment attracts lots of little ones. I would replay the wounds over and over again. I was a grudge holder. I would seek out other grudge holders and have a pity party. The solution is simple. Take responsibility for actions and decisions, forgive the other person and move on. The days are long but the years are short. Certainly too short to be holding on to grudges for weeks, months or years. Forgive and forget. Move on. I just know I will live longer and enjoy this brief journey more.

10.Friends First vs. Family First?
I love the line from the Kevin Costner film “Wyatt Earp”, Gene Hackman, Wyatt’s father says at the dinner table, “Nothing counts so much as blood. Everyone else are strangers.” I have tried to live that simple creed. I am very close to my children. I have always spelled love, TIME. Given the choice between a gathering of friends or family, I choose family every time. Not true for some people. My wife taught me that. I married up. Her family is close. Now ours is. Though my kids are grown and living out of country and in other states, but we talk almost daily. Don’t get me wrong, I have some great friends. I enjoy my time with them. I meet once a week with a group of middle age men who share the same values. However, my family always comes first. I believe thats the way its supposed to be.

11.Criticize vs. Praise?
I used to criticize anyone that was more successful than I. When I consider that, it makes me sad. I used to do that all the time. I was often heard saying, “That guy got lucky” or “He must have cheated.” Not anymore. My new favorite phrase is “GOOD FOR YOU!” or “Way to go! You must feel great (or proud). YOU earned it. That’s exciting!” Are you a fault finder or a good finder? Healthy people choose to be good finders. It’s an extension of how they feel about themselves. That too is a choice.

12.Bigotry vs. Self-Effacing Humor
Negative humor is at the expense of someone else, be it a different lifestyle, culture, color or gender. It’s a form of hatred. Judgment and criticism are an extension of that habit. I have been guilty in the past and still, from time to time, catch myself doing it. It’s intolerance. It’s fear based. It’s bigotry. Making fun of myself on the other hand is healthy. If I make fun of my hair, height or shortcomings, you don’t get to. Its like popping a balloon. It surprises people. They don’t expect it. I can do it as much as I want and its okay. It also belies a level of confidence, self-worth and esteem that makes others feel safe. Moreover, its fun. It allows the receiver to relax and enjoy a good laugh at my expense.

13. Fat or Fit?
60% of americans are obese. 30# overweight is considered obese. The tire around the middle. The waist is a terrible thing to mind. Middle age is when your broad mind and narrow waist trade places. I use to gobble my food and reach for seconds before the rest of the guests were halfway finished with firsts. I was betting rushing so I could have thirds. When others went for a walk, I stayed behind and sat on the couch. Being fit is simple, just three things to master: Small portions, quality food, and exercise. That’s it. I am about 10# over my desired weight. I have some work to do. I will achieve my waist goal.

It really is true, we become most like the people with whom we associate. Who are you hanging around? Anchors or Speedboats? What kind of teachers are influencing your philosophy?

I hope these lessons learned from a different kind of teacher will offer some options, some joy, some peace of mind in your life. I know I have a long way to go to live up these 13 Insights. I will be working on them the rest of my life. My hope is the next time you see or hear me, you will notice I am practicing the latter, not the former precept. Maybe, just maybe, I will hear you say, “Good for you!” followed by, “You are nothing like you used to be.” Followed still with “By the way, have you lost some hair?”

I probably should forward this to that different kind of teacher. Thanks Bryce. I learned so much.

Enjoy the journey, the best is yet to come.

A Different Kind of Teacher PART ONE

2011-09-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

I recently spent an fascinating weekend with a teacher. Every person is a teacher; some are warnings, some are examples. Just what do I mean by that? Well, in general there are two kinds of people, Anchors and Speedboats. Anchors drag us down to the bottom where they like to live. Speedboats pull us forward to a bright and healthy future. So this teacher, an Anchor, let’s call him “Bryce” was on fire with lessons. Watching him for two days was a seminar all by itself. He demonstrated by his behavior, attitude and aspect what NOT to do, how NOT to act, what NOT to say. After processing all the lessons he taught me, I made a list. I hope it helps you. It had a profound and lasting effect on me. One I will never forget. In fact, from today forward I will strive to do and be the opposite of each of the 13 lessons learned.

Before I go too much further, I must tell you. Whenever I write about a topic I ask myself a couple of questions to determine its efficacy. First question, “Have I done this personally?” Second question, “Have I observed at least five people do this?” Results are the name of the game. It has to work. I have to believe in it. Otherwise I am wasting your time and mine. I have put the negative observations in a single word first and its positive opposite second and in the form of a question. I like questions. They force me to think.

Here we go:

Right vs. Happy?
Talk vs. Listen?
Frown vs. Smile?
Sulk vs. Serve?
Complain vs. Accept?
Shabby vs. Sharp?
Excuses vs. Responsibility?
Negative vs. Positive?
Resentment vs. Forgiveness?
Friends First vs. Family First?
Criticize vs. Praise?
Bigotry vs. Self-Effacing Humor?
Fat or Fit?

1. Right vs. Happy?
Twenty years ago, a friend of mine asked me, “Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?” That question changed my life. For the first twenty five years of my life, the sub-conscious choice I made was: “I’d rather be right!” It was pure ego and pride. People with low self-esteem and large egos make belittling others a habit. BE-Little. BE-Littler than me. As “Bryce” was a verbally assaulting me by saying I didn’t know anything about how to make tacos in the most condescending of tones, I said, “That’s it.” I walked out of the room. React vs. Respond. Instead of arguing with him and defending my position, I simply gathered my things and left. He saw the effect of his insensitive remark on the faces of those around us and tried to apologize with empty words. Too late. The other people in the room saw his true colors. I didn’t say a word. You see, there is a difference between an apology and an amend. An apology has no teeth and no change in future behavior. An amend on the other hand carries with it responsibility and change. His words were an empty promise. I had heard it from him too many times before. (Did I mention it was over how not to make tacos?) You see, he came from my neighborhood and was older than I. When I was young I looked up to him. Not anymore. He is just older. Sadly, I had adopted much of his philosophy without knowing it. I had to learn to unlearn what I had accepted as the truth. Virtually everything he did was wrong and his life reflects one broken relation after another. He had bought the wrong plan! He is sixty years old. HE isn’t going to change. It was time for me to change. I would rather be happy than right. So I left. It will be a long time before I ever spend time with him again, if ever. Life is too short.

2. Talk vs. Listen?
Dale Carnegie wrote, “You can make more friends in twenty minutes by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two hours trying to get them interested in you.” My senior year in high school, I was nominated for “Most Talkative” and it wasn’t a compliment. I used to talk and talk and talk. When you were exhausted from my monologue, I would find another victim to talk to. Today, the people I admire are the ones that say, “How is your family?” and then listen. “How is your business?” and then listen. Listening requires a dying of self, it’s OTHER-Centered vs. SELF-Centered. God gave us two ears, two eyes, one mouth. I am working on using those gifts in that ratio. 4-1. Listen and watch four times as much as I talk. Great listeners are welcome everywhere they go. They get invited back. Talkers don’t get asked back. I want to dominate the listening today. I watch “B” do the talk, talk, talk shuffle. I was painful. Today I like a balance of talking and listening. Its fair. Everyone has a story. Everyone has something to be proud of. The only way I will learn is to ask questions and listen. I avoid saying “That’s nothing, one time I...” and remain content and listen. I might say, “No way, then what happened...” and listen some more. It turns out, it’s fun to listen. Who knew? I never learn anything when I am talking.

3. Frown vs. Smile?
It takes thirteen facial muscles to smile, forty seven to frown. Evidently, I didn’t mind the extra work. Each of us are mirrors. We attract people of like mind and attitude. Birds of a feather, flock together. I love being around smilers. They laugh quickly and easily. They are usually in a good mood. They are genuinely glad to see you. They are Speedboats. They pull us forward. I have to, from time to time, consciously remember to smile. It’s worth the effort. I need to show more teeth. A change in physiology occurs when we do. Endorphins are released, the brain emits serotonin, a chemical which decrease stress and build our immune system. It’s healthy to smile and laugh. Watching the Different Kind of Teacher, he rarely smiles. Most of the time, he wears a frown. Sad.

4.Sulk vs. Serve?
Sulking is a kissing cousin to frowning. Sulking is self-pity in disguise. It’s a cry for pity and attention. Toddlers do it when they don’t get their way. It’s a unique combination of frowning, silence, distance and detachment. I choose to avoid the sulkers. I don’t want to know what’s wrong. I want to be around Speedboats. Anchors are toxic. It’s painful to observe. I am a recovering sulker. Anchors away. Speedboats serve others. They look for ways to help. They volunteer. They jump right and say “What can I do?” Embracing a Servant Leadership Attitude means constantly looking for ways to help. I am getting better at reading body language, anticipating needs and serving others. It’s a great feeling that instantly makes me feel good about myself.

5.Complain vs. Accept?
Bless this different kind of teachers heart! All I heard for the first few hours was how bad the food was and how stupid the people where he encountered on his drive north from California. My wife and I have a favorite phrase, “What kind of people live in this town?” She claims, and I agree, that if you are nice to people, they are always nice back. If you believe people are mean, stupid, they generally prove you right. What kind of people live in your town? Today I am working on acceptance of people, places and things. Who am I to judge others? I have no idea what they are going through. The carpenter from Nazareth once said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged. Don’t worry about the sliver in your brother’s eye when there is log in your own. I have to stop hanging around the lumber yard! Anchors complain, Speedboats accept and forgive others.

“Treasure of the Sierra Madre”

2011-08-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

As the current economic uncertainty continues, many people are scared, frozen, and full of fear. Sometimes the best thing you can do is go to the movies. Old black and white movies are my favorite. Nothing like a great story to put things in perspective.

Some movies change your life. Every generation, a movie comes along that makes us reexamine our values, beliefs and goals. It’s been said, “Adversity doesn’t make the man, it reveals him to himself.” The same can be said for money. If you were a scoundrel and a horse-thief before you hit a rich vein of gold, you will be a bigger scoundrel and horse-thief after you are rich.

In light of the recent results of the WaMu verdict where the guilty went free for lack of evidence, I decided to watch the 1948 Black & White John Huston classic film, “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre” starring Humphrey Bogart. He plays Fred C. Dobbs, an American vagabond, an ignoble vagrant stuck in Mexico. He hooks up with another American, Bob Curtin and strikes up a friendship out of mutual hardship.

Quite by accident, the two drifters meet Howard, a kind of mentor. He is a grizzled, experienced, philosophical old prospector who agrees to help the two americans parlay their money into the tools and time to find gold in central Mexico. They overhear a conversation Howard is having with another man:

Howard: "Say, answer me this one, will you? Why is gold worth some twenty bucks an ounce?"

Flophouse Bum: "I don't know. Because it's scarce."

Howard: "A thousand men, say, go searchin' for gold. After six months, one of them's lucky: one out of a thousand. His find represents not only his own labor, but that of nine hundred and ninety-nine others to boot. That's six thousand months, five hundred years, scramblin' over a mountain, goin' hungry and thirsty. An ounce of gold, mister, is worth what it is because of the human labor that went into the findin' and the gettin' of it."

Flophouse Bum: "I never thought of it just like that."

Howard: "Well, there's no other explanation, mister. Gold itself ain't good for nothing except making jewelry with and gold teeth. Aah, gold's a devilish sort of thing, anyway. You start out, you tell yourself you'll be satisfied with $25,000 handsome smackers worth of it. So help me, Lord, and cross my heart. Fine resolution. After months of sweatin' yourself dizzy, and growin' short on provisions, and findin' nothin', you finally come down to $15,000, then ten. Finally, you say, "Lord, let me just find $5,000 worth and I'll never ask for anythin' more the rest of my life."

Flophouse Bum: "$5,000 is a lot of money."

Howard: "Yeah, here in this joint it seems like a lot. But I tell you, if you was to make a real strike, you couldn't be dragged away. Not even the threat of miserable death would keep you from trying to add $10,000 more. Ten, you'd want to get twenty-five; twenty-five you'd want to get fifty; fifty, a hundred. Like roulette. One more turn, you know. Always one more. Howard warns the two, “Ah, as long as there's no find, the noble brotherhood will last but when the piles of gold begin to grow... that's when the trouble starts. Water's precious. Sometimes may be more precious than gold.”

The big takeaway for me from this terrific film is “Regardless of your current financial circumstances, always remember what is truly important in your life. Money is just an idea, floating around. It’s a promise. A deal isn’t done and you don’t have the promise of cash until the check clears the bank. In your search for gold, remember not to lose the things money can’t buy.”

As Bob Curtin says at the end of the film, “You know, the worst ain't so bad when it finally happens. Not half as bad as you figure it'll be before it's happened.”

The economy will eventually turn, it always does. 6,000 years of recorded history proves that fact. Remember what’s important in your life. Character counts. Enjoy the journey, the best is yet to come.

21 Ways to Spot a Gentleman

2011-08-01T08:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met a Gentleman? Someone with class and sophistication? Do you remember the Grey Poupon ad some years ago? “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?” I loved that ad.

Recently a very successful physician turned entrepreneur called me. We met at his magnificent home on the shores of Lake Washington, in Seattle, WA. It was a mansion. 10,000 square feet. He is a class act. A true gentleman. We conceptually agreed to work together. As I drove home I considered all the qualities he possessed. Here is my short list. I call it, “21 Ways to Spot a Gentleman.”

He asks questions based on research
He listens, truly listens to your answers
He does not interrupt
He refrains from trying to “One Up Me” with a better story
He remembers the names of people important to me (my children)
He is a pragmatic optimist
He is naturally curious
He avoids telling dirty jokes
He is well dressed but not flashy
He is up on current events
He asks what books you have read the last 90-days
He sits erect, has great posture at all times
He keeps his word, to himself first, others second
He is confident but not arrogant
He waits until everyone else has their food before eating his
He avoids criticism and judgment
He is well spoken with an impressive vocabulary
He is fit
He avoids cursing and foul language
He treats his wife with respect and dignity
He is thoughtful and generous

I realize this is quite a list to live up to. As I drove back to my office, I realized he had given me a great gift, able example. Was he successful because he had all these qualities or did he have all these qualities because he was successful? The former I believe. He was not born with these behaviors, they were honed, developed, nurtured, and crafted over time. Trial and error. Did I mention he kept a journal and jotted down things he heard me say? A true student. I came to the conclusion I have a lot of work to do.

I wonder what will become of me. I wonder how I will be remembered, what will be said of me at my funeral. I hope at least some of these qualities are mentioned.

I enjoy investing time with Gentlemen. I learn so much. “Pardon me...”

ANYWAY vs. EXACTLY

2011-08-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

In every conversation you will always hear two words eventually. Anyway or Exactly. They are both communication barometers, a compass pointing the way, guideposts if you will, to calibrate how well you are building trust and developing the relationship.

I was a brand new sales rep. I had been reading every sales book I could find. One idea stood out so I tried it on the very next call. “How did you get started in this business?” I asked. The prospect smiled and proceeded to talk for three hours! He said ANYWAY five times, to himself. He would wander off point, realize it and say ANYWAY to get himself back on point. At the end of our time, as if waking from a dream state, he asked, “So why are you here?” I closed the deal. It was the biggest sale of my career and it happened in two visits. It ended up being a very positive lesson in human relations. It also meant $500,000 in business to the company over the next two years. That day changed my life.

It was a simple idea. George Bernard Shaw once wrote, “If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas.”

ANYWAY is a great thing to hear if its from the person that is doing all the talking. It means you are listening and they are talking, a lot. Had he said ANYWAY to me when I was talking, it would have been a bad thing.

If you are doing all the talking, or you and your ego interrupted a friend, prospect, spouse or child when they were talking and you hear ANYWAY, it really means, “Let’s get back to what is truly important, ME! My story, my needs, me!” You see, most people have bad listening habits. It’s often based on ego needs and self. If you are talking and haven’t taken a breath for ten minutes, if that person needs to talk and most people do, they will say ANYWAY. It’s a sign. It’s an indication you need to be quiet.

On the other hand, if you listening, make the time to understand their point or position, subjugate your own ego and resist the temptation to to say, “That’s nothing, one time I...” you push that person away. If you want to draw them into a long term relationship, earn their trust and respect, LISTEN. If you have to talk, paraphrase what you hear, “So you are frustrated with....” Then and only then will you hear the magic word, ‘EXACTLY!” EXACTLY changes everything. It means understanding exists. Trust is being formed. You have provided a valuable service. It means you are that much closer to closing the deal or winning a friend.

Let your prospects, clients, friends and family have their moment in the sun. Everyone wins....EXACTLY!

It's As Simple As Riding a Bike

2011-06-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

Like many of you, I have taught my kids how to do a number of things when they were growing up. Teaching starts first at home. From tic-tac-toe, swimming, basketball, to learning to speak english; pick any sport or skill. We all start at the bottom. When Evan was five years old, it was time to teach him to ride a bike. He was chomping at the bit to ride the two wheel big boy bike. I took him to a park with a field of grass that had a gradual slope. We went over the fundamentals. I held on to the back of the bike and ran along side him until I transferred the skill and belief. He graduated to the track at the high school once his competence increased. We rode together around that track. It was special.

Did you know there are Five Levels of Competence? Choose any skill you wish to master. Let’s take perhaps the most important skill in business and life. LISTENING.

LEVEL ONE - Unconscious Incompetence

LEVEL TWO - Conscious Incompetence

LEVEL THREE - Conscious Competence

LEVEL FOUR - Unconscious Competence

LEVEL FIVE - Conscious Unconscious Competence

Unconscious Incompetence. This first level, I don’t know that I don’t know. When I was a kid, I had no idea I was doing all the talking, all the time. My brother used to bet me at age ten, “If you don’t talk for twenty minutes, I will give you a quarter!” Never did get the money. That led me to...

Conscious Incompetence. One day I knew I didn’t know. In junior high it hit me like a brick up side my head. A girl I liked said to me, “Man, you talk a lot.” It wasn’t a compliment. That really hurt. I started to pay attention to how much I was talking. I began to study the subject. Everyone in my family talked a lot. I was just trying to get a word in sideways. I was aware I wasn’t very good, at listening. That led me to...

Conscious Competence. It came when I was high school. The basketball coach was talking and I was listening. If I was going to play a lot, I had to know what he wanted me to do. If I made a conscious effort, I could overcome bad habits of not listening. Most of the time I was still waiting to talk. However, I was making progress. I began to read about communication in business classes. I watched the kids who earned good grades. THEY really listened. That led me to...

Unconscious Competence. This came to me in my mid-twenties. I began earning money selling. I habitually asked questions and listened. Practice took me to this level. It was profitable to listen. One day, because I truly listened for over an hour, I sold more in that hour than I had earned in a week with my hands. THAT got my attention. I set goals around listening after that. “I love to dominate the listening and people enjoy being around me,” on a 3x5 card. That led me to...

Conscious Unconscious Competence. The highest level of competence is the ability to do something without thinking about it, yet retain a level of awareness of how you do it. This level enables you to teach the skill to someone else. Most people who are very good at something cannot explain it to someone less skilled. They are so unconsciously competent, they don't know how they do it. They just do it.

What if you picked a skill that would make the biggest difference in your personal or professional life? What if you set a goal to get the fifth level of competence? Ask yourself WHAT one thing, that if I mastered it, would increase my income or value to the organization? Then ask WHY? What are your reasons? What if you made yourself indispensable to your organization with that one skill? How would improve your life or income?

Most of us don’t have to think about riding a bike well. We are at level five. We could teach it someone else. In fact, that is the best part of getting to level five, giving it to someone else. It’s called dual plane learning. Evan has turned out to be a great teacher. He and his brother Colin will make great coaches. I have a hunch when they are done playing basketball professionally, they both will end up coaching. Why? They do it now part time and are way better at it than their old man. Who knew that day at the park, Evan would go on to master so many other things than riding a bike. Seeing the joy on his face when the skills were transferred made it all worth it. It’s a magic moment when skills are transferred. I guess that’s why I do what I do. Psychic Pay, the Helper’s High. Now where is my helmet?

2011-06-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

Elbert Hubbard 1856-1915 American Editor, Publisher, Author

He was the author of the moralistic essay “A Message to Garcia.” A freelance newspaperman and head of sales and advertising for a manufacturing company, Hubbard retired in 1892 and founded Roycroft Press in 1893 at East Aurora, NY on the model of William Morris’ communal Kelmscott Press, which he had visited in England. Beginning in 1895 he issued monthly the famous “Little Journey” booklets. These were pleasant biographical essays on famous persons, in which fact was interwoven with comment and satire. Hubbard also began publishing The Philistine, an avant-garde magazine, which he ultimately wrote single-handedly. In an 1899 number of The Philistine, “A Message to Garcia” appeared, in which the importance of perseverance was drawn as a moral from a Spanish-American War incident. In 1908 Hubbard began to edit and publish a second monthly, The Fra. His printing establishment in time expanded to include furniture and leather shops, a smithy, and an art school, as had the operations of William Morris. Hubbard died in the sinking of the ocean liner Lusitania.

Below are some of my favorite quotes from this little known genius.

Folks who never do any more than they are paid for, never get paid for more than they do.

The greatest mistake you can make is fearing you will make one.

To avoid criticism, DO nothing, SAY nothing, BE nothing.

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

A failure is a man who has blundered, but is not able to cash in the experience.

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.

A pessimist? That’s a man who has been intimately acquainted with an optimist.

A retentive memory may be a good thing, but the ability to forget is the token of greatness.

Art is not a thing, it’s a way.

Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.

Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend it.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Do your work with your whole heart, and you will succeed. There is so little competition.

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.

On Forgiveness and Letting Go

2011-06-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

When I was in the first grade, I watched Debbie Poe fly across the monkey bars at recess. It was amazing. Like a monkey, she glided from one bar to the next. I climbed up and made my first attempt. Down I went. Girls are smarter than boys. Dusting myself off, I watched her go again. In order to reach the next bar, she had to let go of the last one. Reach out, let go, grab the next bar, repeat.

For the first 35 years of my life, I had a hard time letting go of the past. Resentment and Self-Pity were my constant companions. I tried to reach out and kept falling on the ground. I knew something had to change. Dust and dirt make for an ugly appearance at recess. What is worse is the dirt on the inside. Those twin thieves resentment and self-pity were like a part time job, robbing me of opportunity and service to others. What could I do? Here is my little formula. I hope it helps.

Evaluate the price of that habit. How much is costing me? The emotional drain, the opportunity cost, the time, energy and effort it takes to maintain that level of negativity is exhausting. What am I getting from this? Would I rather be right or happy? How important is this really? If that person were suddenly stricken with cancer and had a few weeks to live, would I change my attitude and position? Life is short. Too short to spend on that kind of negativity for that long.

Consider an alternative. Forgiveness and letting go. It’s like the emergency brake on my car, holding me back, stalling the engine from time to time. I go much slower than I should and my gas mileage is worse than it needs to be. I ran into an old friend from Little League Baseball. He told me he and his siblings stop talking to each other years ago and it’s killing his parents. These are people I used to look up to. The negative effect of this habit on parents and loved ones comes with a price tag. There is no peace of mind. Family gatherings are filled with dread, trepidation and fear (if they happen at all). Since my parents passed away, my brother and sister are closer than ever. I am so grateful for that.

Give it a try. Get in the shallow end of the pool. Swim around a bit. I have found a few strategies that have helped me get over self-pity and resentment: Write it down. Put those negative feelings on paper and take a look at the root cause. What is YOUR part in it? Be honest. Look for patterns that repeat. This is usually learned behavior passed down from father to son, mother to daughter. Is it time to break the chains that bind you? Talk it over with a trusted friend or pastor/rabbi/priest. I pray for the person I don’t like. Sounds counterintuitive doesn’t it? Guess what? It works. After a few prayers, I find, it’s usually their behavior or attitude, not the person per se. I look to separate the person from the behavior. I have some distance and objectivity after a few days. Then and only then can I let go. From there I can make a gratitude list. What are the things that make you smile? The things you have that money can’t buy? From that comes a shift in my perspective and attitude. Finally, forgive yourself. To quote a friend of mine: Forgive yourself. That’s right, you deserve to be happy. Start giving yourself a break. You forgive others, right? Why not forgive yourself. The person we least forgive is the person in the mirror. So stop suffering, stop holding long and deep grudges, stop treating yourself like you ought to be beaten down. You’re not unworthy. So stop telling yourself you are.

Why did it take me so long to learn this? Reach out, let go, grab the next bar and repeat. Recess and life is supposed to be fun. It’s so much better without all the excess baggage. Now where were those monkey bars?

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, & Nobody

2011-05-12T06:38:00.000-07:00

In a recent magazine article, actor Mathew McConaughey, was being interviewed. The reporter asked him why he thought the last 15 years in film had been good to him. “Always be a gentleman and don’t lie.” As I considered the simplicity of that statement, I was reminded of my early years of marriage.

When I first met my wife 30 years ago, I lied about something really insignificant. She looked at me like the RCA Dog. “Really?” Pausing for effect, she observed, “You’re not telling me the truth are you?” Looking at my shoes, I replied, “No” Incredulous she said, “Why did you lie?” Thinking quickly on my feet, I replied, “I’m a guy?” Quoting Shakespeare, she said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, once we practice to deceive.”

Two years ago, I stumbled across a complimentary copy of a book written by the CEO of a major Hotel chain. In it was a little parable was written by some guy named ANONYMOUS. It’s a bit like an Abbot and Costello routine.

The Parable of Responsibility

Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody were members of a group. There was an important job to do and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody would have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody would do it, but Nobody realized that Anybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody, blamed Somebody, when Nobody did, what Anybody could have done.

Why do we shirk responsibility? FEAR. Fear of loss or desire for gain. That can lead to not telling the truth. Lying. Someone I respect once told me there was 13 ways to lie. I thought to myself, really? 13? I racked my brain. I made a list. Then I went online to research. I could only come up with ten without duplication.

Here is my modified list in reverse order, like a Letterman List:

#10 MINIMIZE
To minimize is to make the infraction seem smaller than it really is. To spot this one, listen for words like: “Just” and “Only” when doubting someone’s word. Its proof that the other person is not telling the truth. They are softening the blow. It’s a white lie.

#9 BLAME
Why do we engage in blame? Many small reasons but simply one big one, FEAR. It’s a kind of shortcut to getting out of jail. “Who did this?” “NOT ME! It was him!” (or the dog!) For a lot us it started when we were kids. When I was five, I told the truth and got a spanking. The next time, I lied and got out of it. That day I became a liar. If at first you don’t succeed, set the blame quick.

#8 DEFLECTION
Changing the subject is a great way to shift the focus onto something or someone else. “What about you! Just last week you...” Now we are combing MINIMIZING with DEFLECTION. Brilliant. People who do this are quick on their feet and smooth as silk.

#7 MEMORY LOSS
“I can’t remember!” The Alzheimer strategy. This is especially useful as we get older. Seinfeld did a whole episode about this. (Uncle Leo was stealing books at the bookstore.) It’s the sin of Omission.

#6 SIN OF COMMISSION
This is a flat out lie. Bald face lie. Look the other person in the eye and simply deny the accusation. This one takes real courage and schutzpah. Not for the faint of heart or weak of stomach.

#5 SILENCE
This is the “Say nothing...ever!” strategy. When you do this, it messes people up. Poker players are really good at this. I don’t play poker so this one is tough for me. I look at my shoes a lot when confronted. Busted. I have a “cribbage” face.

#4 DENIAL
In order to pull this one off, you have to be a little pathological. Lying must be a way of life. “Denial isn’t a river in Egypt and you are not Cleopatra!” When taking this position, change is not an option. A lot of felons live this one to their grave.

#3 COGNITIVE DISSONANCE
This one involves metrics, gathering proof that your position is the right one. Tons of data. Rational-lies. There is work involved here. Defending your position may mean hiring an assistant or even an attorney. This one can get expensive.

#2 THE FRACTION
This one admits a portion of the truth. In Public Relations this is called SPIN. It worked for President William Jefferson Clinton. “I did not have sex with that woman!” (Define sex.)

#1 OXYMORONS A-Z!
The oxymoron is another form of minimizing, like a euphemism. We have all heard Jumbo Shrimp and Backup Forward. Here is my favorite list of oxymorons, A-Z:

Awfully nice, Big Baby holding a Black Goldfish, Cheap Gas, Definite Maybe, Educated Guess, Firm Estimate, Genuine Imitation, Half Empty, Insane Logic, Junk Bonds, Kosher Ham, Lame Skills, Mild Cigar, Natural Makeup, Objective Rating, Perfect Idiot, Qualified Success, Random Logic
Sad Clown, Tame Beast, Unbiased Opinion, Vanilla Fudge, War Games,Xenophobic Foreign Secretary, Young Sixty-Year Old and Zero Deficit.

If you are a lifelong liar, and everyone knows it, when you do finally tell the truth, no one will believe you! Brilliant. When all else fails, you can tell them “The Parable of Responsibility” They will laugh and forget why they confronted you in the first place. JUST ask my wife. Finally, here is #11. Be honest. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said. Now that’s worth writing down.

I think I will go see the movie “The Lincoln Lawyer” with Honest Mathew. I just know he will be a gentleman.

It Don't Cost Nuthin' To Be Nice

2011-05-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

My mother was the queen of the thank you note. She wrote hand written letters and notes every day of her life. She had a desk just for that purpose. They always made me smile. She understood a simple secret. “I was thinking of you...” Everyone she met said the same thing, “She sure is nice.”

Bob Burg in his terrific book, “Endless Referrals” suggests, “Write a thank you not every day to clients, prospects and friends. Let them know you care.”

There is a story legendary football coach Bear Bryant used to tell when he spoke. “I was recruiting a prospect in southern Alabama and stopped into a little dive for lunch. When the owner found out who I was, he asked me to send him an autographed picture. I wrote his name and address down on a napkin. When I got back to Tuscaloosa, I signed a picture ‘Thanks for the best lunch I ever had’ and mailed it to him. Years later, I was recruiting a young man who was a gifted young athlete. He had his heart set on attending our arch rival, Auburn. His mind was made up. He told me no. Two days later he called me. ‘Is the offer still good to come to Alabama?’ he asked. ‘Yes. Of course. Why did you change your mind?’ ‘When my grandfather found out I had a chance to play for you, and I said no, he pitched a fit. He told me I wasn’t going nowhere but Alabama. He thinks a lot of you and has ever since you met. That picture you sent him your first year as a coach is his pride and joy. He still tells everybody about the day Bear Bryant came into his diner.’ That day i learned the lesson my mama had taught me, “It don’t cost nuthin’ to be nice!”

I recently visited the Magic Castle in Hollywood, CA. My magician friend and mentor Adam Christing. “Hey,” Adam said, “There is Neil Patrick Harris, the actor. He loves magic. He is here all the time.” Never shy, I walked up and introduced myself. “Starship Troopers is one my favorite movies. You were great in that. Was that 1997?” He smiled. “Yes, that was a fun project.” He thanked me for the kind words. We chatted for a few minutes and then politely excused himself. I turned to Adam and said, “What a nice guy. He didn’t have to be.” Adam nodded in agreement. I thought of Bear Bryant. “It don’t cost nuthin’ to be nice.

My mother is gone. She passed away last June. This blog has to suffice. Normally, I would have written her a little note.

To watch Adam Christing captivating demo video, go to:
www.inspirelaughter.com

The Plimsoll Line

2011-04-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

English Merchant ships were sinking in the 1800’s leaving London. It turns out they were overloaded with cargo and didn’t know how much was too much. In 1876, Samuel Plimsoll was commissioned to solve the problem. His solution was simple. Samuel employed three simple steps:
"Show me a ship empty. Make a mark on the hull.
Load the ship as you normally would and draw a line on the hull. Now remove 20% of the cargo and draw a third line."

Ships stopped sinking. It was a watershed moment in Naval History. It became known as the “Merchant Shipping Act”. By law, as a captain, you could not load a ship past the “Plimsoll Line” else you be fined and dry docked.

As captains of our own ships, we all have a Plimsoll Line. We all eventually figure out “how much is too much”; how? By setting a Big Goal in any area of our lives. Spiritual, Physical, Financial, Interpersonal, Family. What do you want, truly desire? How much by when? Why do you want, really? As you begin to go from HERE to THERE, calibrate from day to day, week to week, how much is too much by your emotions and physical responses. Pay attention as the distress ensues. You will be out of your comfort zone.

One client of mine said, “Most people are operating on a fraction of their potential. They are in a kind of lock step. They show up, go through the motions, and are, for the most part, ineffective, doing just enough not get fired. On the job retirement.” I know this much. Until I set my new and challenging goal, I had no idea how much I could do until I tried to do too much. So what to do? How can we become more effective?

Why not try “The Hour of Power” for 90-days as a test? This simple yet profound process has three parts:

The first 20 minutes entails writing down your big goal in a journal or legal pad. Write it as if it were already true. The Four P’s. Personal, Positive, Powerful and Present Tense. “I am so happy now that....” and as you write it out, smile. Your next step is to THINK. Think about actions you can take, books you can read, new ideas to implement. Quantity matters, not quality. List as many as you can think of in 20 minutes.

The second 20 minutes rewrite your “To Do” from your list. What are the six most important things you can do. Only six. I have found few of us have time to actually get all six things done in a single day. Prioritize your list 1-6. If you were going out of town tomorrow for 30 days, which item would you do first? Of the remaining five items, which one is number two? Once that is complete, ask yourself how long you feel each item will take to accomplish? (30 minutes? 1-hour? 4-hours?)

The last 20 minutes in this magic hour is to read a book in alignment with your goal. Underline, highlight, gather ideas and inspiration in your journal from the books you read. Read at least five books on your goal topic over the next 90 days.

If you are willing to try this, changes will happen. You will become incredibly effective using this process. You will be doing the right things, as opposed to doing things right. The key is to stick with it for three months...every day, for an hour.

The net effect of employing this process the last 90-days, my platform skills, my energy, my enthusiasm, and positive client feedback have all improved. I have changed for the better. Ideas for improvement have gushed from a fountainhead, many times AS I AM PRESENTING. I am incorporating IMPROV in my facilitation with astonishing results. After the presentation, I making the time to ask in my journal, “What went well?” and “What could I improve?” I can feel myself improving. I tell you this not to self-aggrandize rather to hammer home the point, THIS WORKS! Like magic. Referrals, new business, repeat clients are happening with very little effort on my part.

How much cargo is on your ship?

THE SELF CONFIDENCE FORMULA

2011-04-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend of mine said to me, "The first time I heard you speak I was struck by your confidence; Combined with your humility, it was the reason I reached out to you. It's a great combination."

Upon reflection, I determined there was one book that influenced that combination, the classic self-help book "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. I read it 25 years ago, it change my life. It's loaded with so many great ideas, words fail in trying to describe how this gem, written in 1935 might change your life.

Here is just ONE of the ideas. Would you like to double your income? Close twice as many sales next year? Increase your confidence? Your customers buy you. What if you read this for 90 days? (My paraphrases are in brackets)

I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my definite chief aim and purpose in life; therefore, I demand of myself persistent continuous action toward its attainment, and I here and now promise to render such action!

I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward, physical action, and gradually transform themselves into physical reality; therefore, I will concentrate my thoughts for 30-minutes-a-day upon the task of thinking on paper of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear and exciting mental picture! (For 90-days I will write my #1 Goal out in my journal = “______________” and wait for the ideas & road signs that will inevitably come to me in my morning THINK sessions).

I know through the principle of autosuggestion (declaring & affirming aloud), any desire that I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object back of it; therefore, I will devote 10-minutes daily to demanding of myself this development of self-confidence!

I have clearly written down a description of my definite chief aim in life (__________________________) and I will never stop trying until I shall developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment!

I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure, unless built upon truth and justice; therefore, I will engage in no transaction which does not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me, because of my willingness to serve others first and enthusiastically. I will eliminate hatred, envy, resentment, self-pity, selfishness and cynicism by developing a true love for all of humanity (“I love people!”). Because I know that a negative attitude toward others can never bring me success. I will cause others to believe in me because I will believe in them and in myself. I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to memory, read it aloud once-a-day for 90-days with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions so that I will become confident, grateful, and a successful professional.

x _______________________________________

Humility is an interesting thing. The moment you realize you have it, it's gone. Thanks Napoleon.

The Art of the Aphorism

2011-03-27T09:01:00.000-07:00

I have always loved a good aphorism. “I don’t sing because I am happy. I am happy because I sing.” An aphorism is a terse saying or quote the embodies a general truth. The requisite construct of a pithy or sticky aphorism has five elements:

It must be BRIEF
It must be PERSONAL
It must be DEFINITIVE
It must be PHILOSOPHICAL
It must have a TWIST.

“Power corrupts, Power-Point corrupts absolutely” I like to add self-effacing HUMOR as the sixth element. Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx were masters of the aphorism with the self-effacing comedic turn.

Oscar Wilde
“The one thing I can’t resist is temptation.”
“The only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.”

Dorothy Parker
“I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.”
“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”

Groucho Marx
“I would never belong to a club that would have me as a member.”
“Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.”

My personal favorites from my own experience captured in my journals:

“I wouldn’t worry quite so much what others think of me if I only realized how little they actually do.”

‘If I treated my friends the way I treat myself, I wouldn’t have any.”

“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power, confidence & success.”

“Optimists live longer than pessimists do and have a better time along the way.”

If you start singing the feelings will invariably follow. Know any old songs?

Good For You!

2011-03-18T11:22:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, if some other person achieved some measure of success or notoriety, more often than not, I was jealous. Sometimes I would even say, “He cheated” or “He just got lucky!” It never made me feel any better. I deluded myself into thinking somehow I was morally superior. Sad.

My new favorite phrase is “GOOD FOR YOU!” It always makes me feel great. There is an old proverb that says: “You can’t give someone sweet smelling flowers without getting some of the good smell on yourself.” GOOD FOR YOU! I say it with great enthusiasm. I say it with great joy. I say it with great sincerity. I say it often. In fact, I say every chance I get.

Have you ever heard someone tell their dog “Good boy!” and watch the response of the delighted K-9? He wags his tail, smiles a toothy grin and generally makes everyone else in the room feel good too. Why don’t we say that word “Good” more often?
> “Good job in your game today son!”
> “Good meal honey, the sauce is amazing.”
> “Good job on that report, I loved the detail. You really went the extra mile.”

Praise pays. Words trigger pictures and bring about emotion. As long as I can remember, I told my sons, “Your future is so bright, it burns my eyes to look at it. You will go so much farther than I ever did in school, sports and business.” Every week, same phrase. I consistently predicted great things for them. Whenever they made progress, I said “Good job son. I am proud of you.” I still do. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. One son is playing professional basketball in Australia. The youngest just led his team to the conference and tournament championship and was selected 2nd Team All Conference. Would it have happened without those words? Perhaps. I do know most of Evan’s AAU Teammates from his 6th grade national team, only 3/12 are playing in college still. Evan, Glen and Reggie.

The next time a friend, colleague, boss, wife/husband, child does something noteworthy, smile, look at them right in the eye and exclaim loudly and great enthusiasm “Good for you!” and watch their response.

It’s so much better than “He got lucky”.

In Other Words

2011-02-13T13:38:00.000-08:00

See if you can guess who said these words. I was 13 years old when he delivered this talk in Dayton, Ohio. I pulled excerpts from his last speech and rewrote them in OTHER WORDS....my own.

"Attaining a goal, you have got to pay a price for anything worthwhile and success is paying the price. You’ve got to pay a price to win, you’ve got to pay a price to stay on top, and you’ve got to pay a price to get there. Success is not a sometimes thing, it’s an all the time thing. Success is a habit, just like winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

Today we have a new ideology. No letter grades. We want to allow a pass or fail system. There is no hunt for excellence. Sadly, that is the easy way. In sports, business, government the objective is to win, to beat the other guy. Some may think this is a little bit hard and a little bit cruel. I don’t think so. I do think that it is a reality of life. I do think men are competitive and the more competitive the business, the more competitive the men. They know the rules before they get into the game, the objective is to win: fairly, squarely, decently, win by the rules, but still win.

In truth, I’ve never really known a successful man who deep in his heart did not appreciate the discipline it takes to win. I believe that man’s greatest hour, in fact, his greatest fulfillment is that moment when has worked his heart out for a good cause and lies exhausted but victorious on the field of battle. Success in life is a matter not so much of opportunity but rather of concentration and perseverance. The man who succeeds above his fellow man is the man who early in life clearly decides his objective and towards that objective he directs all his powers.

The qualities of success include competitiveness, dedication, thick skin, courage, coordinated effort, teamwork, sacrifice, self-denial, and personal discipline. A personal commitment to excellence. Perhaps most important of all? The will to win. The will to excel, the will to endure. These are the qualities larger and more important than any of the events they occasion. Indeed, I would say that quality of each man’s life is the full measure of that man’s personal commitment to excellence and to victory, whether it be in sports, business or politics.

I think it teaches that work, sacrifice, perseverance, competitive drive, selflessness and a respect for authority is the price that each and every one of us must pay to achieve any goal that’s worthwhile.

If a man studies his past, his country, his ancestors and the lessons of history, he is educated. I think to be successful, you’ve got to be honest with yourself and balancing the paradox of mental toughness with humility in victory. Simplicity and humility are signs of true strength. Mental toughness means bouncing back from adversity, embracing self-sacrifice, self-denial, fearlessness, dedication and love. Teamwork is a form of love and loyalty. Mental toughness is the perfectly disciplined will. Character in action.

When all is said and done, to be successful, a man must exert an effective influence upon his brothers. The flame of the fire that burns inside him, the magnetism which draws the hearts of other men to him, he is a true leader. He is a success. No man, no matter how great he may be, can long continue to be successful unless he wins battles, because the battle decide all. Success is based upon a spiritual quality, a power to inspire others. Character rather than education is man’s greatest need. The differences in men lies in energy, strong will, a singleness of purpose and an invincible determination."

Give up? A couple of clues. He went to Fordham University. He coached his team to victory in “The ICE Bowl” He died in 1970.

Cowboy Values

2011-02-10T07:55:00.000-08:00

On a recent trip to Montana, a client gave me a book by James P. Owens entitled "Cowboy Values" - It changed the way I look at things. As I read it I kept nodding in agreement. Here are the high points:

>90% of the politicians give the other 10% a bad name.

>Cowboys carry themselves with an authenticity, humility and quiet confidence. They are the real deal.

>A man who doesn't stand for something will fall for anything.

>Success is not final, failure isn't fatal. It's the courage to continue that counts.

>Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without faith, hope and confidence.

>There ain't a horse that can't be rode; a cowboy that can't be throwed!

>If you are looking for a helping hand, try the one at the end of your own (damn) arm!

Here are the 10 Cowboy Principles to live by:
1. Live each day with courage.
2. Take pride in your work.
3. Always finish what you start.
4. Do what has to be done.
5. Be tough but fair.
6. When you make a promise, keep it.
7. Ride for the brand.
8. Talk less, say more.
9. Some things aren't for sale.
10. Know where to draw the line.

I was listening to Marty Robbin's song "El Paso" while writing this. I reckon I oughta buy me a 10 Gallon Hat, some cowboy boots and a big ol' belt buckle..."Howdy Pard"

The Art of Living

2011-01-19T03:24:00.000-08:00

Epictetus was born into slavery about 55 A.D. in the eastern reaches of the Roman Empire. Once freed, he established himself as a Stoic of great influence. I digested a book of his philosophy recently entitled “The Art of Living” - Here are my favorite portions:

“First say to yourself what you would be; then do what you have to do.”

“Some things are within our control, some things are not. It is only when you learn to distinguish between what you can and can’t control that inner tranquility and outer effectiveness are possible.”

“Keep your attention entirely on what is truly your own concern, and be clear what belongs to others is their business and none of yours.”

“When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you either accept it or resent it. It’s not things that disturb us, but our interpretation of their significance. They are what they are.”

“Think about it: What is really your own? The use you make of ideas, resources, and opportunities that come your way. Do you have books? Read them. Learn from them. Apply their wisdom. Do you have specialized knowledge? Put it to its full and good use. Do you have a good idea? Follow up and follow through on it. Make the most of what you’ve got, what is actually yours.”

“From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do--now.”

GIMME FIVE MAN

2010-12-24T12:31:00.000-08:00

This time of the year we see lists and reflections upon the year gone by. I guess it’s my turn to give you five categories of five favorite things from 2010.

Five Favorite Famous Quotes from 2010

“I’m not a witch!” Christine O-Donnell television ad October 4, 2010

“I’d like my life back.” Tony Hayward, CEO, BP, May 30, 2010

“If you touch my junk, I am going to have you arrested.”
Airline passenger John Tyner, remark to TSA security at the San Diego airport November 13, 2010

“Don’t retreat, reload!” a tweet from Sarah Palin, March 23, 2010

“Chi! Chi! Chi! Le! Le! Le! Los mineros de Chile” Chant at Chilean mine rescue, October 13, 2010

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My Top Five Favorite Movies of 2010

Inception
Social Network
The Town
Shutter Island
Red

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My Five Favorite Books of 2010

How the Mighty Fall - Jim Collins
Anyway - Keith Kent
Man’s Search for Meaning - Victor Frankl
How I Got To Be Whoever It Is I Am - Charles Grodin
Purple Cow - Seth Godin

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My Five Questions To Ask Myself

What did I learn in 2010? (What was my biggest lesson?)
What am I looking forward to in 2011? (What are five goals that matter to me personally/professionally?)
Who are five people that made a difference in my life in 2010?
What were five books that improved my life from 2010?
What are five things I am grateful for?

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Five Favorite Trips of 2010

Monticello - Thomas Jefferson’s Home in Virginia
Hilo, Hawaii - The Rainy Side of The Big Island
Laredo, TX - Thanksgiving with Evan’s Basketball team
Beverly Hills, CA - Networking Event with Michael Levine
Nashville, TN - Speaking for Lochinvar at the Country Western Hall of Fame Theater

Now it’s your turn. GIMME FIVE MAN!

That Time of the Year

2010-12-10T15:01:00.000-08:00

Business slows to a crawl this time of the year. Holiday parties, family gatherings, vacations headed south. Hey, I am leaving for Hawaii tomorrow for nine days! What to do if your prospects are not returning your calls or emails? How can you still be effective? Here is a short list of professional and personal activities that will make you more productive in the new year:

Professional Action Items:
>Organize your desk, files or computer
>Write an e-newsletter to thank your customers
>Send handwritten thank you notes to your customers
>Take clients, co-workers, or your team to lunch and say thank you
>Read a good business book in alignment with your goals
>Write down all your WINS from this last year
>Enroll in a seminar or workshop to sharpen your communication skills

Personal Action Items:
>Join a gym and hire a fitness trainer
>Take a college class to learn how to play the piano, paint, weld, photography, etc.
>Schedule a foot massage
>Go to a comedy club with the friends you have that love to laugh
>Go hit a bucket of balls at the driving range (or tennis)
>Plan a family reunion
>Go visit your favorite teacher from college or high school and thank them
>Rent a ride in a hot air ballon
>Get caught up on all the magazines you didn’t read this year
>Join a self-help group (Weight Watchers, AA, Al-Anon, Toastmasters)
>Take a train ride to another state and bring your camera
>Invest in journal and list all your notable accomplishments going all the way back to first grade!
>Do something you thought you were too old to do (skydive, surf, jet-ski, white water rafting) Create your “Bucket List”

I do this every month. It has changed my life and helped me appreciate the little things that I miss when I flying all over the world. It matters. It’s that time of the year. Go for it!

A Check Up from the Neck Up?

2010-12-07T07:29:00.000-08:00

Recently I was assisting a friend clarify her goals on paper, 3 x 5 cards. We listed WHAT she wanted to achieve in 2011. Five goals. We prioritized them. We chose ONE GOAL that was most important and re-wrote in personal, positive, present tense, powerful language. We listed ten reasons WHY she wanted them. "Read that goal every day, at least five times a day," I suggested. We talked about reading books in alignment with her goals, investing in seminars and workshops both personal and professional and of course, keeping a journal. "We become what we think about," I said with a very serious tone.

What do YOU want to have happen in 2011? When was the last time you had a "Check up from the neck up?" What are your top five goals for 2011? What books will you read? Do you have a journal? Are you investing in your own personal development?
"The company won't pay for it!" I use to say...then I realized, "I am the president of my own service company!" I was 32 years old when THAT light came on. I stopped complaining, blaming and explaining. I took personal responsibility for my life. I told my friend, "It's not your husband, children, company, the economy, or friends that are holding you back. It's YOU!"

Forget New Years Resolutions. Set your goals down on paper. Do you want to get fit? Increase your income? Be a better parent? Finish your degree? Get that promotion? Start a business? Write it down! Look at it every day. List the reasons you want it. Read. Think. Study. Observe. Listen.
It's "A Check Up from the Neck Up"

Merry Christmas and here's wishing you the best year you ever had! "I am making a MARK no one can erase in 2011!" What will YOU do?

Oh The Places You'll Go

2010-11-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

I was watching an episode of Boston Legal where William Shatner takes his Law Partner, James Spader fly fishing in British Columbia. I began to reflect upon the places my speaking and consulting business have taken me over the past 20 years. Here is the short list:

>Istanbul, Turkey (The Grand Bazar and Palace after Palace)
>Boston, MA (Game 7 Eastern Conference Finals Celtics vs. Cavs)
>Honolulu, Hawaii (Hiking Diamond Head) 8 times!
>Scottsdale, AZ 5 times
>Aruba (The most magnificent beach imaginable)
>Niagra Falls (The Canadian Side twice)
>Homer, AK (Halibut Fishing)
>Orange, NJ (Tom Edison’s Home and Gravesite)
>Fort Meyers, FL (Tom Edison’s Workshop and Summer Home)
>Monticello, VA (Tom Jefferson’s extra-ordinary mansion)
>Great Neck, Long Island (Teddy Roosevelt’s Home)
>Epcot Center, FL
>Disneyworld & Disneyland 3 times
>Islas Muharas, Mexico (snorkeling & parasailing)
>Williams Lake, BC, Canada (train ride north)
>Portland, OR (Water Skiing on the river)
>Lynchburg, VA (Appomatox where Lee Surrendered)
>New York City (The Twin Towers, 30 Rockerfeller Center, The Waldorf)
>Chicago, IL (96th Floor of the Sears Tower)
>Springfiled, IL (The Lincoln Musuem)
>San Fransisco, CA (The Golden Gate Bridge)
>Napa, CA (Wine Country)
>Hollywood, CA (Beverly Hills & Mullholland Drive)
>Albequerqe, NM (The Gondola up the mountain)
>Arlington, TX (The Rangers vs. Athletics)
>Shea Stadium, NY (Mets vs. Expos)
>Baltimore, MD (Orioles vs. Mariners)
>Fenway Park, MA (Red Sox vs. Tampa Bay)
>Rochester, NY (George Eastman’s Home)
>Detroit, MI Auburn Hills Arena (Pistons vs. Charlotte)
>Pimlico Race Track, Baltimore MD
>Judge Roy Bean’s Texas Town
>Chicago Bulls United Arena
>The Grand Ol’ Oprey, Nashville, TN (Twice)
>Graceland - Elvis’ Mansion in Memphis, TN
>BB King’s Blues Club, Memphis, TN
>Reno, NV
>Las Vegas, NV (George Carlin, Penn & Teller, Louis Anderson, Danny Ganz, The Blue Man Group)
>Dallas, TX Mavericks Vs. San Antonio Spurs
>Corpus Christi, TX
>Houston, TX
>San Antonio, TX (The Alamo)
>Denver (Nuggets last game in the Pepsi Center) CO
>Indianapolis, IN (Men's Final Four)
>Philadelphia (Phillies last game in Veterans Stadium)
>Galveston, TX (8 days after a Hurricane)
>Gettysburg, PA (The Civil War Musuem)
>Sundance, UT (Louie Louie Rock Band)
>Central Park (Hansom Cab Ride)
>The Waldorf Astoria Hotel (The Broadway Show “The Producers”)
>Stahekin, WA (Lake Chelan)
>Gotham Comedy Club, Manhattan, NY
>Daytona 500, Daytona Beach, FL
>Destin, FL (one of the most beautiful beaches in the world)
>Amelia Island, FL (Ritz Carlton Hotel)
>St. Louis (Cardinals vs. Montreal Expos), MO
>Pittsburgh (Pirates vs. Montreal Expos) PA
>Ruckersville, (U of Virginia vs. Florida State Football), VA
>Mt. St. Helens, WA
>Rapid City, SD
>Ann Arbor, MI (Film Festival)
>Washington DC (Improv Comedy Club)
>Foxboro, MA (New England Patriots vs. Carolina Cougars)
>Modesto, CA
>San Fransisco, CA (three times)
>Sacramento, CA
>Seminar for the University of Louisville Men’s Soccer Team, KY
>Norman, OK (University of Oklahoma Men’s BB game)
>Sweet 16-UW vs. U of West Virginia @ Syracuse Carrierdome
>Yuma, AZ
>St. George, UT (Ballon Ride)
>Pittsburgh, PA (Penguins and Pirates games)

Years ago, when I wrote “Freedom from Fear” I wrote out a Lifetime Goal List. Many of the places listed above were on that list. Do you think that is a happy coincidence? Perhaps. I like to believe that it happened because I wrote it down. Dream, Write, Realize.

Each of us must find reasons to work hard. What do you want to DO, HAVE, BE, SHARE AND SEE?

I have 65 new things on my updated list....What is on your list?

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Oh! The Places You’ll Go! (Abridged)  by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look ’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

17 Ways Rich People THINK Differently Than Poor People Do

2010-10-28T09:58:00.001-07:00

I was watching some YouTube videos by speaking mentors of mine on a personal retreat in Coupeville, WA (on bucolic Whidbey Island, WA) recently when I came across this little song/powerpoint by Ahmad Jamal. Some food for thought.

As you read the list, ask yourself, which one are you?

Rich people believe THEY create their life. Poor people believe life happens to them.
Rich people play the money game to WIN. Poor people play the money game to LOSE.
Rich people are committed to being rich. Poor people wish to be rich.
Rich People Think BIG. Poor people think SMALL.
Rich people focus on OPPORTUNITY. Poor people focus on OBSTACLES.
Rich people ADMIRE other rich people and say “Good for you!” Poor people RESENT rich people and say “What a bunch of crooks!”
Rich people associate with positive and successful people. Poor people associate with negative, unsuccessful people.
Rich people are willing to promote themselves and their values. Poor people don’t.
Rich people are bigger than their problems. Poor people are smaller than their problems.
Rich people are excellent and grateful receivers of money. Poor people are poor receivers and take money for granted.
Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people insist on being paid based on time.
Rich people think BOTH (Win/Win). Poor people think either/or (Win/Lose).
Rich people focus on their net worth. Poor people focus on their working income.
Rich people manage their money well. (They save their money and spend what’s left.) Poor people mis-manage their money well (They spend what they make and save what’s left if at all.)
Rich people have their money work hard for them. Poor people work hard for their money.
Rich people act in spite of fear. Poor people let fear stop them.
Rich people constantly learn and grow (investing their money earned into education, books, CD’s, Seminars, Coaching) and poor people think they know it all (and say “that costs too much!”)

That is according to Ahmad Jamal’s YouTube Video “Ahmad’s Blues”
with some paraphrasing by yours truly. Did it make you a little uncomfortable? Good! When I first read this ideas in T. Harv Ecker’s tremendous book: “The Millionaire Mind” it shook up my thinking and belief system. But guess what, “He walks his talk!” Anything by T. Harv Ecker is well worth the read or listen. I have both the CD and Book and have listened to it at least 10 times.

Which one are you? You decide....it is A SIMPLE CHOICE after all.

Mark Matteson
www.mattesonavenue.com
mark.enjoythejourney.matteson@gmail.com
206.697.0454

ANYWAY

2010-10-27T19:20:00.001-07:00

I am reading a little book entitled “Anyway” by Keith Kent. He lists the 10 Paradoxical Commandments. Here they are. They remind me of my youngest son Evan. We are headed out in December to watch him play basketball in Hawaii, three games on three islands. Can’t wait. He lives many of these commandments. It’s just who he is.

People are illogical, unreasonable and self-centered. Love them ANYWAY!

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good ANYWAY!

If you are successful you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed ANYWAY!

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good ANYWAY!

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank ANYWAY!

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas will be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think Big ANYWAY!

People favor the underdogs but follow only the top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs ANYWAY!

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build ANYWAY!

People may need help but attack you if you try to help them. Help people ANYWAY!

Give the world the best you have and you may get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have ANYWAY!

There is a man in Hawaii by the name of Robert Alm. He is a successful attorney and banker. He created a program called the Live Aloha Program. The meaning for “Aloha” they had in mind deals with caring, affection and courtesy. Here is the list of their examples:

>Respect your elders and children
>Leave places better than you found them
>Hold the door for others
>Hold the elevator for others
>Plan something
>Return your shopping cart
>Get out and enjoy nature
>Pick up litter
>Share with your neighbors
>Create smiles

Simple ideas. What if you tried them out for thirty days...even if people think you are strange. Try them ANYWAY....

Evan’s friends, teammates, coaches and parents of teammates tell me with great regularity how nice our son is...all 6’-11” of him. I think its because he lives those 10 Commandments. He got them from his mother! Can’t wait to see him block his opponents shot and help them up....ANYWAY.

As You Wish

2010-10-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

Do you remember the movie "Princess Bride" with Cary Elwes?

I was in Baltimore conducting a Keynote to 900 people a couple of weeks ago. I had 300 copies of my new book "A Simple Choice" shipped UPS to the hotel. I went to the front desk and they informed me I could find them at the UPS business center.
When I inquired the fellow said to me, "Oh, yes, we have them here. That will be $100." I replied, "No, I already paid that. YOU GUYS SHIPPED THEM!" "No," he said, "That's the holding fee." A little stunned, I said, "Fine, could you bring them to Salon A, I am presenting this morning and I am recovering from rotator cuff surgery." "Sorry," he said. We can't go into the convention center..." (I thought to myself, what am I paying for? Where is the service???)
I told my story to the front desk at the Hilton downtown. They said the same thing! I started to get upset and stopped myself. "Did you ever see Princess Bride, the movie?" I asked. "Yes," the woman behind the counter said with an odd look on her face. "Do you remember how the prince won the princess's heart? He kept saying after every one of her requests, 'AS YOU WISH' ~ That is all I am looking for. For someone to say AS YOU WISH! Just then, the bellhop came over and said to me, with a smile, 'Sir, AS YOU WISH!' We picked up the books from the not-so-friendly guys at the UPS Business Center and wheeled them over to Salon A. I gave him a $20 tip and a copy of my new book. Mathew was his name. He is from Nigeria. He said to me, "I might get in trouble for doing this but I don't care. Thanks for the book and the tip."

The acronym T.I.P. used to mean "To Insure Promptness" Somewhere along the way we started giving it at the end instead of the beginning. Where have all the Mathew's gone?

I need to rent "Princess Bride" again. I am just in a guy in Edmonds looking for someone to say AS YOU WISH!

My Favorite Poet

2010-10-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

Edgar Guest died when I was two years old. His poetry and short stories were profoundly simple and simply profound. Here is a sampling. I hope you enjoy them.

Lord, Make A Regular Man Out Of Me

This I would like to be- braver and bolder,
Just a bit wiser because I am older,
Just a bit kinder to those I may meet,
Just a bit manlier taking defeat;
This for the New Year my wish and my plea-
Lord, make a regular man out of me.

This I would like to be- just a bit finer,
More of a smiler and less of a whiner,
Just a bit quicker to stretch out my hand
Helping another who's struggling to stand,
This is my prayer for the New Year to be,
Lord, make a regular man out of me.

This I would like to be- just a bit fairer,
Just a bit better, and just a bit squarer,
Not quite so ready to censure and blame,
Quicker to help every man in the game,
Not quite so eager men's failings to see,
Lord, make a regular man out of me.

This I would like to be- just a bit truer,
Less of the wisher and more of the doer,
Broader and bigger, more willing to give,
Living and helping my neighbor to live!
This for the New Year my prayer and my plea-
Lord, make a regular man out of me.

Good Books

Good books are friendly things to own.
If you are busy they will wait.
They will not call you on the phone
Or wake you if the hour is late.
They stand together row by row,
Upon the low shelf or the high.
But if you're lonesome this you know:
You have a friend or two nearby.

The fellowship of books is real.
They're never noisy when you're still.
They won't disturb you at your meal.
They'll comfort you when you are ill.
The lonesome hours they'll always share.
When slighted they will not complain.
And though for them you've ceased to care
Your constant friends they'll still remain.

Good books your faults will never see
Or tell about them round the town.
If you would have their company
You merely have to take them down.
They'll help you pass the time away,
They'll counsel give if that you need.
He has true friends for night and day
Who has a few good books to read.

Be A Friend

Be a friend. You don't need money;
Just a disposition sunny;
Just the wish to help another
Get along some way or other;
Just a kindly hand extended
Out to one who's unbefriended;
Just the will to give or lend,
This will make you someone's friend.

Be a friend. You don't need glory.
Friendship is a simple story.
Pass by trifling errors blindly,
Gaze on honest effort kindly,
Cheer the youth who's bravely trying,
Pity him who's sadly sighing;
Just a little labor spend
On the duties of a friend.

Be a friend. The pay is bigger
(Though not written by a figure)
Than is earned by people clever
In what's merely self-endeavor.
You'll have friends instead of neighbors
For the profits of your labors;
You'll be richer in the end
Than a prince, if you're a friend.

A Jim Rohn Story

2010-09-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember, I have hunted for great information, the causes of success. In 1992 I took my young family to Disneyland. We stopped into a funky little beach front thrift store in San Clemente. I found an odd little cassette of some guy named Jim Rohn for the drive to Anaheim. That one hour tape changed my life. My kids loved his voice and stories. I was mezmorized by this world class wordsmith. In 1994 I attended an all day seminar and purchased $400 worth of his tapes and books. I must have listened to them 50 times! Mr. Rohn passed away last year at the age of 80, but his legacy lives on. YouTube him. He is alive and well. Here is what you might hear:

>It isn’t what the book cost; it’s what it will cost you if you DON’T read it!

>It’s not 7 apples on Sunday. It’s AN APPLE a DAY!

>We get paid for the VALUE we bring to the marketplace, not the time.

>The worst days of those who enjoy what they do is better than the best day for those who don’t.

>Don’t say “If I could, I would.” Say instead, “If I can, I will.”

>If you don’t like how things are, change it. You’re not a tree!

>You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction today!

>Learn to EXPRESS, not IMPRESS.

>What is powerful is when what you say is just the tip of the iceberg!

>The more you know, the less you need to say.

Mr. Rohn changed my life forever...by chance. It’s not too late. He can still change yours. Good hunting.

Able Example

2010-09-02T14:25:00.001-07:00

“Shortly after the close of the Civil War, a black man entered a fashionable Church in Richmond, VA, one Sunday morning at the beginning of a communion service. When the time came, he walked down the aisle and knelt at the altar. A rustle of shock and anger swept through the congregation. A distinguished gentleman with a gray beard stood up, stepped forward to the altar and knelt beside his colored brother. Captured by the gesture and the gentleman’s spirit, the congregation followed. The gentleman who set the example…General Robert E. Lee.”

“After all is said and done, all that remains is LOVE.”

Colin Powell On Associations

2010-08-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

A client sent the following document recently. It is absolutely outstanding. Enjoy!

The less you associate with some people, the more your life will improve. Any time you tolerate mediocrity in others, it increases your mediocrity. An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people. As you grow, your associates will change. Some of your friends will not want you to go on. They will want you to stay where they are...Friends that don't help you climb will want you to crawl. Your friends will stretch your vision or choke your dream. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. Consider this: Never receive counsel from unproductive people. Never discuss your problems with someone incapable of contributing to the solution, because those who never succeed themselves are always first to tell you how. Not everyone has a right to speak into your life. You are certain to get the worst of the bargain when you exchange ideas with the wrong person. Don't follow anyone who's not going anywhere...With some people you spend an evening: with others you invest it. Be careful where you stop to inquire for directions along the road of life. Wise is the person who fortifies his life with the right friendships. If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl. But, if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights. "A mirror reflects a man's face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses. "The simple but true fact of life is that you become like those with whom you closely associate - for the good and the bad.Note: Be not mistaken. This is applicable to family as well as friends. Yes...do love, appreciate and be thankful for your family, for they will always be your family no matter what. Just know that they are human first and though they are family to you, they may be a friend to someone else and will fit somewhere in the criteria above. "In Prosperity Our Friends Know Us. In Adversity We Know Our friends. "Never make someone a priority when you are only an option for them. "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.."..

Colin Powell

OH The Places You'll Go!

2010-08-20T04:35:00.000-07:00

Oh! The Places You’ll Go! by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations! 

Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.

You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
Oh! The Places You’ll Go!

You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t. Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch. You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump. And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

THAT'S ENOUGH...NOW GO BUY HIS BOOK AND READ IT TO YOUR CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOURSELF!

Poems that Inspire

2010-08-09T20:12:00.000-07:00

In the late 1980's I was reading a lot of poetry. Very soon after I began writing poems. I recently started collecting the ones that inspired me in my journal again after all these years. I hope you like them.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden back,
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I---
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

The Man in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for wealth
And the world makes you King for a Day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother or wife
Whose judgment on you must pass,
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
It’s the one staring back from the glass.

Some people may think you are a straight shooting chum
And call you a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum,
If the can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to end,
And you have passed your most difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of life
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you have cheated the man in the glass.

Shakespeare said the same thing in a fewer words, “To thine own self be true.”

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath & tears,
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.
W.E. Henley

Do you have a favorite poem? Send one to me! Pass them on.
There is magic and inspiration in them....

What is Your Best and Highest Use? Part Two

2010-07-22T12:23:00.000-07:00

So did you answer the questions on paper? No? Go back and reread them. Think about the questions....

Once you know the answers to those questions, chances are THAT is your bliss. When you are doing it, you time distort, losing track of time. It’s naturally fun and easy.

When I am speaking, facilitating, writing and consulting, time flies. Those are the four elements of my work that represent my bliss. If I invest 80% of my time in those activities, that is the best and highest use of my time.
My most successful clients are the ones that have identified what they do well and most enjoy.

You cannot do everything. Expectations keep changing, we are being asked to do more with less. When you leverage that magical 20% that dramatically improves your contribution, you have more energy, more peace of mind, more security. Now is not the time to take it easy. I dislike that phrase Take it easy. NO! Show up early, stay late, work smarter. Ever notice that people that say that are not at the top of their game. They tend to be on the bottom rung of the socio-economic ladder. Innovate. THINK! Bring some new ideas to your boss that will lower operating costs or increase sales. Let everyone else take it easy.

Consider delegating the tasks that take up most of your time in activities that waste your time, don’t bring you joy, you loathe and hey, you are not good at it! Invest the time to improve your knowledge and skills in high leverage activities. Invest in yourself. 20 years ago, in the midst of a recession, I started attending seminars on my own dime. I began pouring myself through every sales book I could find. I went to work on my skills and service to others. This is the key to unlocking your personal and professional potential. Forget trying to teach a pig to sing. He is only going to get madder than he already is.

PS
A successful life is a paradox. While we increase our service to others, we also need to take better care of ourselves. Below is a list of activities that make certain you lower your stress levels and increase your energy. You will need to have extra energy. More coffee is not the answer. Try any or all of the following simple and easy to integrate activities. They come from some of the finest minds in wellness and health. RE-Create by:

>Drinking twice as much water. Drink a big glass upon awakening.
>Drink a glass ten minutes before every meal. You will eat less. Most people are dehydrated. It manifests itself in lethargy and weakened muscles.
>Sleep with the window open. Fresh air matters. It will detoxify.
>Stretch more. Upon awakening, invest a couple of minutes reaching for the ceiling, touching your toes. Watch your cat after a nap.
>Go for a twenty minute walk every day. If you can walk in the woods, all the better.
>Eat fruit for breakfast and skip the bagel or donut.
>Carve out 5-10 minutes for quiet time. Sit in chair, close your eyes, and simply BE. Empty your mind.
>Take a hot bath. Light a candle, put on some music, lock the door, 20 minutes to and for yourself.

Nah, you better not. You don’t want to be too wonderful!

What is Your Best and Highest Use?

2010-07-22T12:19:00.000-07:00

If you try to teach a pig to sing, two things happen:
You make the pig mad
You waste your time and your money!

Each of us gets paid, whether we own our own company or we work for someone else, for our contribution to the marketplace. Its the quality and quantity of that contribution that determines our value to the organization and the corresponding income we earn. Want to earn more money? Find a way to improve your service to others.

Years ago I came across a formula that has stuck with me. It’s more like a natural law than anything else. You and I are paid in direct proportion to:
The Demand for What We Do
Our Ability to Do That Job
The difficulty of Replacing Us

The most powerful asset you have is your earning ability. By applying your knowledge and skills to your work, you bring value to the customer, value to your employer, value to yourself. You could lose everything (and I have a couple of times) your house, your car, your job, your bank account, but as long as you still have your earning ability, you can make it all back and more besides.

Hey, I know times are tough for many of my readers. 401k’s have become 201k’s. Clients are asking for more and more for less money. What CAN you do? Well, one strategy is to go to work on your skills and knowledge. Go to work on what you bring to the table. Be honest with yourself. Take stock of your unique talents and abilities.

Would you say you are World Class at what you do? Best in the Country?
Best in the State? Best in the County? Best in the City? Best in Your Community? Best in Your House? Pick one. Be honest. Then go to work.

A question I have been asking myself for over 20 years might just be the very thing that allows you to keep your job in tough times. It might be the very thing that creates the idea for a new product or service. Here it is:
“How Can I Increase My Service To Others?” Simple. Powerful. Rarely asked or answered.

Here are some additional questions for you to ask yourself on paper in your journal early in the morning or on the next long drive or commute. Keep a pen or tape recorder handy, they are powerful questions:

>What is the best and highest use of my time?
>What is it I do especially well that few people can match?
>What am I really good at?
>What comes easy to me?
>What has been responsible for past success AND was fun and easy for me?
>What have I received praise and compliments for?
>If I could do any part of my job what aspects would I choose that are high leverage?
>What is my contribution to this organization and how can I increase it?

More on the next post...

Life is...(Part Two)

2010-07-16T14:48:00.000-07:00

What did the last blog tell you? When you read the “Life is” statements, how did you react to each one? As much fun as some of these little phrases, they are also a window into the soul. They tell us and the world our beliefs and convictions. In a word, our ATTITUDE.

Who ever coined the phrase “Life is too short certainly knew what he or she was talking about. It really is too short, much too short to spend a minute wasted on mimicking the attitudes of others, unless they are good. A great attitude does much more than turn on the lights in our world. It seems to magically connect us to countless serendipitous opportunities that were somehow absent before the change. Yes, change.

I find I must change my attitude on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, 24/7/365. Why? Because fully 75% of my thoughts and information that comes to me from the world is negative. Don’t believe me? Pick up ANY major metropolitan newspaper and read the top 10 stories. 7/10 are negative, fear based. I never, let me repeat, never read the front page of any newspaper. I sit in Starbucks and watch every third customer walk up to the newstand and read the headlines and never pick up the paper. That’s input. That forms their world view. Occasionally I will interrupt them, pick up the paper, remove the front section and hand it to them. They step back feeling guilty. Like they have been caught doing something wrong. “Take it!” I say. I never read the front section....it’s all bad!”

Now, some bold claims. You tell me if you agree with them.

>It’s your attitude, at the beginning of any difficult task or project more than anything else, will bring about its successful outcome. Your attitude toward others determines their attitude towards you. Life is a merciless mirror. It reflects back what we send out. We are all interdependent on others.

>The success we achieve depends upon how well we relate to others. Before you can achieve the kind of life you want, you must think, act, talk and conduct yourself in all your affairs as would the person you wish to become. Act as if. Think as if. Talk as if. Be as if.

>What if you kept a mental and emotional picture of the kind of person you wish to become as often as possible, say three times a day? (each time you eat, look at your written description instead of the newspaper!)

>In my experience and observation working with CEO’s and owners of companies, the higher you go in any organization, the better the attitudes. They have their position because of their attitude, not the other way around. Their success is due in large part because of a great mental attitude. They are consistently grateful and expectant.

>The deepest craving in the human condition is the need to be appreciated, respected and understood. Self Worth. Self Esteem. To feel important. Be the person who is the GOOD-Finder in others.

If you find yourself nodding in agreement the five observations above, and have decided you could us a “Check-Up from the Neck-Up” you will want to keep reading.

How to Change Your Attitude, Enjoy the Journey and Improve Your Interpersonal Effectiveness and Opportunity!

If you choose to make the following principles a habit knit part of you, it will change your life and the lives of the people you touch each day.

1. Be Grateful. Life is short. It’s later than you think! For most people, life is a three act play. The average is 75 years for men, 82 year for women. Listen up fellas, Act One: 0-25 years. Act Two: 26-50 years. Act Three: 51 to 75. 75 years = 27,375 days; 657,000 hours; 39,420,000 minutes; 2,365,200,000 seconds. Are you investing your time wisely? Life is short!

2. Expect the best. If you decide to, you can enjoy the journey and make certain the best will continue to come to you. It’s not what happens but how you respond. Knocked down? Get back up! Feeling blue? Go help someone worse off than you. Out of shape? Start walking daily and eat the way you know you should (smaller portions, quality foods)

3. Stop wasting your time talking about your problems unless it’s with someone who can help you change them. Stop talking about your health unless its with a doctor or trainer. It won’ help you, it can’t help others. Change the subject (or run the other way) when someone tries to pull you into their negativity.

4.Radiate an attitude of well being and confidence. An attitude of someone who knows where he or she is going. You will find all sorts of great things happening to you. Take an honest look at your associations. Are they anchors or speedboats? Positive or negative. You are guilty by association.

5. Last but not least, treat everyone you meet as the most important person on earth. Become a GOOD-Finder. Ask questions and dominate the listening. Show them respect, appreciation and understanding. It’s the Golden Rule. Model the attitude you want. Find people with great attitudes and make the time to talk with them.

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the poor.” Sholem Aleichem

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.” Douglas Adams

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” Brendan Gill

“The meaning of life is that it stops.” Franz Kafka

Thanks for reading. Make it a great day. I intend to. It’s all about ATTITUDE!

Life is...

2010-07-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

My mother passed away recently. I have been doing all the things that come with that. My journal has been a saving grace. Here are some thoughts from the pages:

Life

Have you ever considered answering the question,
“Life is __________?”

Life is short. Life is a wonderful journey. Life is a game. Life is a day at the beach (for me, that’s true, as I have a new place ON THE BEACH!) Here are some quotes for you to consider. I hope you like them.

“Life is a near death experience.” George Carlin

“Life is what happens when you’re not watching television.” Jason Love

“Life is not having been told the man has just waxed the floor.” Ogden Nash

“Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.” Truman Capote

“The world is a grindstone and life is your nose.”
Fred Allen

“Life consists in what man is thinking all day long.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Life isn’t fair. It’s just fairer than death, that’s all.” William Goldman

“Life is something to do when you can’t go to sleep.”
Fran Liebowitz

“People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.” Logan Pearsall Smith

“Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.” Bertrand Russell

“Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the poor.” Sholem Aleichem

“You live and learn. At any rate, you live.” Douglas Adams

“Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.” Brendan Gill

“The meaning of life is that it stops.” Franz Kafka

Now it’s your turn. You answer the question:
“Life is _______________?” I would love to hear your response!

Thanks for reading.

What Is Your Creed?

2010-06-09T07:18:00.000-07:00

With legendary coach John Wooden’s passing, I recently pored over the half a dozen of books about the great teacher from my library. I was looking for the principles, that dealt more with his personal philosophy and creed. I wanted to know the reasons for his tremendous influence. I stumbled upon the following story. I hope you like it half as much as I did.

When Johnny graduated from grade school, his father Joshua gave him a $2 bill and some advice. As long as you have this, you will never be broke. Years later, coach Wooden gave it his son Jim. His father also gave him a card. On it was written the following creed:
>Be true to yourself.
>Help others.
>Make each day your masterpiece.
>Drink deeply from good books, (especially the Bible).
>Make friendships a fine art.
>Build a shelter against a rainy day.
>Pray for guidance and count/give thanks for your blessings every day.

He smiled as only a proud father can and said: “Try and live up to these things Johnny.”

For 99 amazing years, he did.

In a candid and humble admission, coach Wooden says, “I would like to be able to tell you I lived up to dad’s creed, but I am more like the fellow who said:
I am not what I ought to be,
Not what I want to be,
Not what I am going to be,
But I am thankful I am better than I used to be.

As June unfolds, it demands a few questions:

What is your creed?
What will you give your children upon graduation?
How about a $2 bill and a card with your creed?

If This Were My Mothers House...

2010-06-07T16:46:00.000-07:00

When someone I trust and believe, say a technician that comes into my home or business says to me, “What I would do is...” or “If it were me, I would...” I really listen. Hey, that’s what I said when I was a Chimney Sweep to my residential customers in my early twenties. It’s what I said when I was a technician in my late twenties to building owners. For that matter, I still say it to prospective customers. I speak in the first person, honestly, authentically and sincerely. What followed was why my close ratio was over 75%...detachment.

Detachment sounds like this, “But hey, its your house (or business), you do what you think is best. I gotta go!” Detachment is a honest indifference. There is no quiet desperation or smarmy manipulation. It's simply your opinion. It’s what you would tell your mother. Hey, who would give a raw deal to their mother? No one I know.

If you think about it, no one likes to be sold. We all like to buy. It has to be our decision. Give me the information, raise my awareness with tact and compassion, offer a few choices, and then shrug your shoulders as if you didn’t care which option I chose. I especially like, “Talk it over with your wife...” or “Give some thought to what makes sense to you...I’ll be back in touch.” Then smile, leave and get back to them in a couple of days. That’s what I like.

Professional persistence is following up when you say you will, via email or voice mail (or both) with that same detachment in your voice. Remind me but don’t stalk me. You are not Ben Stiller, she is not Cameron Diaz in “Something About Mary” so be a pro. Listen to the nuances in their voice and read their body language. What is the subtle subtext, the unspoken implication?

Sales is simple. TRUST, RELATIONSHIPS, COMPETENCE, TIMING and FOLLOWUP. Build the TRUST by asking questions and listening; Form the RELATIONSHIP by being considerate and flexible; Do your job right the first time thereby demonstrating COMPETENCE; when its time to ask for the sale it’s a TIMING issue and by all means FOLLOW UP by being assertive and asking for the sale. Five simple steps.

The mother of my children, my wife of 30 years said to me on our second date: “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said.” Shakespeare said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” Tell the truth. Be honest with your customers. If don’t know the answer to a question, say “I honestly don’t know, but I’ll find out and get back to you.” In a word, INTEGRITY. Earl Nightingale once wrote, “If integrity didn’t exist someone would most certainly invent it as the fastest way to become rich.” He was right.

I need to call my mother...

You Just ATE!

2010-05-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

When I was a teenager, I ate every few hours. “I’m hungry,” was the the phrase most often heard from age 13 to 23. If I think about it, I still say that. My mother used to say, “You just ATE!” I would frown and reply, “But I’m hungry!” Our twenty year old son, the one that plays basketball in Laredo, TX, must have said that ten times in three days on a recent trip to Fairbanks, AK. We were there to watch our adopted son, Larod, graduate from college. Now that our youngest is home from school for the summer, he says every very few hours, “I’m hungry!” I smile. Now I know how my mother and father used to feel and think. I now have some perspective.

In sales, depending upon the product or service, there is an average time expectancy (A.T.E.) between purchases. There is an average length of time before a customer itches to buy again. Your morning coffee is a daily itch. James Patterson fans buy his novels twice a year (he outsells Steven King and John Grisham combined!) The average car buyer will buy or lease every three years. The average homeowner moves every five years. As a Keynote Speaker, the itch cycle is three to five years. What is it in your business?

Trust, Relationship, Competence and Timing. The four legs of the sales chair. We are talking about the Timing aspect of sales. How is your business? When was the last time you created a new product or expanded your services? Find a need and fill it. That’s the message in Russell Conwell’s classic little book “Acres of Diamonds”. This is important to know so you can proactively reach out to your customers when they are in the ‘interest‘ phase. A.T.E. Average Time Expectancy. What is it in your business? Is it time to reach out to your customers and ask? Unassertive sales and marketing people have skinny kids!

What if you reviewed your list of customers and asked yourself: “What product or service can I offer to add value to my clients?” or, “What do my clients need that we are not offering?” “How can we save our clients time, money or both?” “What do they really need?” When was the last time you conducted a survey (either internally or externally) to determine the needs of the people you serve? Do you have all the business you can handle? If not, what if, as a little test, you made a list of 100 clients? What if, for twenty business days, you made five calls or emails a day? What if you asked your clients:
What do we do well?
What could we improve?
What keeps you up at night?
How can we serve you more effectively?
What part of your business is not being served currently?

My guess is, if you do that for a month, you will learn a few things about when your customers have an itch. You may clarify when they have an interest. It might just create a whole new market segment or service offering you have not thought about until now.

“I’m hungry,” my son just told me. “But you just ATE!” Time to make second breakfast. I think he might be a Hobbit.... **********************************************************************

The vocation of every man and woman is to serve other people.
Tolstoi

Right or wrong, the customer is always right.
Marshall Field

Our grand business is not to see what lies dimly in the distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand.
Thomas Carlyle

Add Years to Your Life

2010-05-09T11:11:00.000-07:00

My wife and I were helping our oldest son Colin and his love Stef move into their new place. The couch was never going to fit through the doorway. How did I know? Simple. The doorway was 28 inches wide and the couch was 38 inches wide. I measured it. I am after all 52 years old and enjoy the wisdom of many moves. My son shot me the look. You know the one, “Oh yeah old man, watch me!” He and his 6’-9” basketball buddy from England proceeded to prove his old man wrong. The project took almost an hour. They didn’t give up. As I think about Colin’s basketball career, since the the third grade he has been proving adults wrong. He has a constancy of purpose. Drive. Dogged determination. Focus. Grit. The expression on his face was priceless. They did it! He flopped on the couch contented. He looked over at me. I simply said, “You did it! I am proud of you. I love it when you prove me wrong!”

As I watched the sun go down, listening to John Lennon on my i-pod, I have always identified with the rebel, the contrarian, the thinkers that said and did things that make you say, “What do you know!” I love the Paradox. According to Webster, Paradox is defined as:

A statement or proposition that, despite apparently sound reasoning from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seem senseless, self-contradictory may prove to be true.
A thing that combines contradictory features or qualities.

In my first book, Freedom from Fear I wrote Add years to your life and life to your years. Well, here are a few more from a grateful Dad:

Learn to laugh. Laugh to learn.

Regarding my children, love them simply and simply love them.

No God, no love. Know God, know love.

I used to live to eat. Now I eat to live.

Love the sinner, hate the sin.

Word hard, then hardly work.

I never believed in following the rules or ruling the followers.

A passion for reason, a reason for passion.

Be a child to your friend and a friend to your child.

Work at play and play at work.

Surrender to win. Win to surrender.

Love what you do and do what you love.

What comes from the heart, goes to the heart.

I embrace the wisdom of uncertainty and certainty of wisdom.

My children don’t listen to word I say but they watch every move I make. Socrates said near the end of his life, “I stopped listening to men say and simply watch what they do.” Helping my son move today sent him a message. We spell LOVE a little differently: T.I.M.E.

As we were finishing up putting the entertainment center together, we turned on the television to watch the Lakers play the Jazz. He had a self-satisfied look on his face. He glanced over, smiled and said “I love you Dad.” He meant it. I love it when he proves me wrong. I love it when he is right. It was a good day. As the sun set on the Olympic Mountains, the sky a crimson hue, it hit me. Today “I added life to my years...and years to my life.” Or as John Lennon sings, “Imagine.”

How To GET and KEEP Your Dream Job! (Part Three)

2010-05-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

Become a Lifelong Learner
The word Commencement is a middle English word meaning, a beginning, a start. Upon graduation, shortly after you toss your hat in the air and peel off your gown, celebrate by all means. The next day, get back to work studying, learning, growing. College should have taught you HOW TO LEARN. It’s simply the beginning, a start. Become a lifelong learner. Read books, listen to audio programs on your i-pod, keep a journal, read trade magazines in your chosen field, attend seminars, find and develop relationships with mentors. Swen Nater chose legendary Coach John Wooden over a dozen other coaches and backed up Bill Walton for three years at UCLA. The won back to back NCAA titles. He was drafted in the first round 1973 by the Milwaukie Bucks yet never started a college game! He simply outworked everyone else. When coach Wooden asked Swen to shoot 100 hook shots with each hand over the summer, Swen told me, “I shot 300 with each hand!” He was so teachable. He still is. He was and still is the consumate student. Become a sponge. Soak in as much as you can....for the rest of your life.

Ask Questions and Dominate the Listening
When I was young, I thought speaking up and offering my opinion was the way to go. I was anxious to make a favorable impression. The best boss I ever worked for pulled me aside and said to me with compassion and tough love, “Your’e a smart guy. You have a lot of energy. However, you are large, loud and demanding. We are moving you into the Air Conditioning Department to work alone.” You see, what I should have done was listen. What I should have done was ask questions and shut my mouth. When I was a kid in England, my Auntie Laura used to buy me a bag of candy. She called them “Gob-Stoppers”, they were huge. They barely fit in my mouth and lasted for hours. A giant round ball of sugar. I thought she was being kind. What she was really doing was teaching me to be quiet and listen. Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem to teach his 12-year old son the wisdom of asking open ended questions: There are six honest serving men; they taught me all I knew; their names were WHAT and WHERE and WHEN and HOW and WHY and WHO! I have learned the secret of success in getting along with others. Ask open ended questions and dominate the listening. I never learn anything when I am talking.

It’s Not About You
I interviewed Superstar Salesman and author of the terrific book “The Nordstrom Way” Pat McCarthy in 1998. “Why do you think you are so successful in sales?” He paused and said simply, “I think it’s because I am OTHER-Centered.” You see the opposite of that is SELF-Centered. It really is true, it’s not about you! Become of Go-Giver. Find ways to serve others. Remember the Window and the Mirror. When it comes time to take the credit, look out the window and give it to your teammates. When it comes to take the blame, look in the mirror. It’s counter-intuitive. Our ego says “NO!” A dying of self is required. No worries. If you do it long enough, everyone will know. Eliminate “I, Me, Mine” and shift your focus to “We and Us”; better still, “You and Yours”; people will want to spend more time with you but they won’t know why!

Hey, Wait A Minute!
You haven’t told us HOW to get that first job! You’re right. Instead, I will tell you story from David Halberstam’s fine book “The Education of a Coach” the biography of Bill Belechick, the successful NFL Coach. In 1976, he asked the Baltimore Colts if he could VOLUNTEER. They said “Certainly but we can’t pay you.” Belechick smiled and went to work. He put in long days, picking up dirty towels, studying film, 12-14 hours a day of the worst kind of drudgery. Most nights he slept in the locker room, grateful for the chance to be in the coaching game. After a month, the owners felt guilty and began paying him $25 a week. He got bigger than his job each month. All these years later, perhaps the best coach in the NFL earns over $4,000,000 a year!

If you can incorporate these things into your life, you won’t have to worry about FINDING or KEEPING a job. It will find you! You will get bigger than your job quickly. No one ever got promoted. They got bigger than their job and lifted up. Get to work.....It’s COMMENCEMENT!

How To GET and KEEP Your Dream Job! (Part Two)

2010-05-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

Smile
It takes 13 facial muscles to smile, 47 to frown. Evidently, some people don’t mind the extra work! If you smile long enough, you’ll come up with a reason. Is a bird happy because he sings or does he sing because he is happy? Act and the feelings will follow. The late Harvard Professor and father of American Psychology William James wrote: Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not. In short, develop the habit of smiling four times an hour....just because.

Show Up Early, Stay Late
An airplane goes full throttle until it gets to 30,000 feet. Then the pilot backs off. If he didn’t he would burn up the engine or use up his allotment of fuel. When starting out your career, go full throttle. The late, great businesss philospher Jim Rohn said: A young person brand new to sales can make up in numbers what she lacks in skill. My first year in sales, I worked 70 to 80 hours a week. I went full throttle. My close ratio was only 25%. However, I was proposing five agreements a week. Twice as many as my peers. I ended the year at 150% of sales plan. My Sales Manager was delighted. The next year I began to really study the art and science of selling. I asked 20 successful sales professionals in my industry 20 questions. The answers applied change my close ratio to 50%. I worked about 50 hours a week that second year. I kept studying sales books, going to seminars, listening to audio programs while I drove and worked out. My third year my close ratio jumped to 75% and I was 300% of plan, while working about 35 hours a week. You get the idea. At first, in any new endeavor, go full throttle until you get to 30,000 feet.

Stretch Your Comfort Zones and Volunteer
The worst advice I ever received from someone that was older than me at age 18 was, “Never volunteer for anything.” In my experience, we all need to do the exact opposite. The question I have asked and answered for the last 20 years is How can I increase the quality and quantity of my service to others? I often write that question down in my journal. I sit and THINK on paper. Some days I come up with twenty answers, others days just a few. Most people are in a rut. A rut is a coffin with the ends kicked out. Say YES to requests, especially when you are new to a job. Go the extra mile with a smile. You will learn so much. Keep track of what you learn in a journal. Get FROM the day, not just through it. Get FROM the project. Keep stretching yourself in lots of little ways. Drive a different way home. Eat left handed. Let someone else choose the movie. Read a different magazine. If you read novels, pick up a biography.

Update Your Goals On Your Birthday
Why my birthday? You ask. It’s easy to remember. If you don’t update your goals, you run the risk of flattening out, losing your drive and energy. In high school, my magnificent obsession was basketball. When someone asked me what I planned to do after graduation, I said with confidence and naivite, “Play college basketball!” Guess what? I accomplished that goal. After one year of junior college, I flattened out, lost all my drive and energy and left. I joined the Air Force by default. If you asked me what happened at 19 years of age, I answered, “Beats me.” You see, I goal set TO and not THROUGH. I didn’t think past one year. Most people don’t. In 1971, the Miami Dolphins lost to the Dallas Cowboys in the Superbowl. When a reporter asked All-Pro linebacker Nick Buoniconti (who was told he was “too small” to play in the NFL at 5’-11” & 220 pounds) why his Dolphins lost the Superbowl he replied, “I don’t know, we goal set all year long to GET to the Superbowl.” The reporter replied, “You mean you didn’t goal set to WIN it?” Stunned, the former Notre Dame grad said, “My gosh no....” The next year, in 1972, the Miami Dolphins went 17-0 and won the Superbowl. You see, if we don’t update our goals each year, we run the risk of flattening out. Update your goals on your birthday.

How To GET and KEEP Your Dream Job!

2010-04-25T18:53:00.000-07:00

In a Keynote to a University Sports Banquet recently, I talked about something every graduate wants to know about: How to Get and Keep Your Dream Job! Here is what what I told the students and coaches. Feel free to pass it on to your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. I wish someone had handed it to me at 18 or 22 years of age.

*Do What You Love
*Soar With Your Strengths
*Choose to Have a Great Attitude
*Smile
*Show Up Early & Stay Late
*Volunteer and Stretch Your Comfort Zones
*Update Your Goals On Your Birthday
*Commit to Becoming a Lifelong Learner
*Ask Open Ended Questions and Dominate the Listening
*It’s Not About You!

Do What You Love
Follow your bliss. 20 Years ago I found mine. I was 32 years of age before I determined what my bliss truly was. Speaking and writing. Helping others achieve their goals. After reading over 1,000 books, certain questions began to emerge:
1. If all the jobs paid a dollar, which job would you do?
2. What did you LOVE to do at age seven? (ask your mom)
3. What specific activity, that when you are engage in it, you time
distort? You are lost in the joy of the activity?
4. If a Doctor told you that you had six months to live, how would you
spend your time?
5. If you suddenly inherited $10,000,ooo what would you do
differently?

Once you answer these questions honestly and thoroughly, simply ask yourself, “What are the common denominators? What is the common thread?” The answer to THAT question is your bliss.

Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “To thine own self be true.” Most people live their whole lives and never surrender to that simple truth.

Soar With Your Strengths
My bliss, my strengths fall into two categories, Writing and Speaking. Everything else is a misuse of my time and energy. I outsource and delegate most everything else. There is an old maxim, “If you try and teach a pig to sing, you waste your time and money.” You also have an angry pig on your hands. My favorite professional question is “What is the best and highest use of my time?” If you took the time to answer the five Bliss questions, you probably know what your bliss is. Surrender to it. Embrace it. Set Goals around it. Study it. Master it.

Choose to Have a Great Attitude
Optimists live longer than pessimists do. Guess what? They have a better time along the way. It’s a paradox. Ironic isn’t it? Hang around positive people. Make a list of the people with whom you spend most of your time. Write down as many people as you can think of. Parents, friends, teammates, acquaintances, teachers, coaches, etc. Now put a (+) or a (-) next to their name. The plus (+) people are SPEEDBOATS. They pull you forward. The negative (-) people are ANCHORS. They drag you down to the bottom with them. Calculate how much time you give each person each week. What percentage of your day or week do you give them? Invest more time with the SPEEDBOATS and less time with the ANCHORS! Simple. You will be the same person in five years but for two things, the PEOPLE you with whom you choose to associate, and the BOOKS you read. Read classic self-help literature, inspirational books like: Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell; How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie; Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill; The Richest Man in Babylon by George Clason; and of course Freedom from Fear by yours truly. Books and People, People and Books. In five years....

I've Learned

2010-04-14T05:51:00.000-07:00

I keep a journal to capture the good stuff. Here is some well said ideas from some guy named ANONYMOUS....

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it  gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we  ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so  spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be  appreciated and loved.

I've learned.....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only  letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned....That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned....That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to  surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a  smile.

I've learned....That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned....That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the  ones you miss.

I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock  elsewhere.

I've learned....That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one  more time before he passed away.

I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do  about it.

I've learned....That when your new born child holds your little finger  in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but  all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned....That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances;  when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work with, the more things I  get done. 

What is in your journal?

Serendipty

2010-04-04T10:38:00.000-07:00

Ever enjoyed a moment when something good happened to you quite by accident? You were looking for one thing and you stumbled onto something or someone even better than you were looking for? It happens to me all the time. It is happening with greater and greater frequency. The word is SERENDIPITY. Have you ever wondered where the word came from? My new friend Carl Farsai, a mechanical engineer for San Francisco Airport told me over lunch last week. He explained it was derived from a series of old persian fables he often heard as a boy. So I looked it up.

It means:

serendipity |ˌserənˈdipitē|

noun
the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way : a fortunate stroke of serendipity | a series of small serendipities. Lucky or consistently fortunate.

DERIVATIVES
serendipitous |-ˈdipitəs| adjective
serendipitously adverb

ORIGIN 1754: coined by Horace Walpole, suggested by The Three Princes of Serendip, the title of a Persian fairy tale in which the heroes, three princes, “were always making discoveries, by accidents and sagacity, of things they were not in quest of.” The stories always had a happy ending. It has become synonymous with good luck made from focused effort, study and persistence.

Digging a little deeper, I found the fable. If you want the entire research to http://livingheritage.org/three_princes.htm

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The Art of Parenthood

In practicing the art of parenthood an ounce of example is worth a ton of preachment. When we set an example of honesty, our children will be honest. When we encircle them with love they will become loving. When we practice tolerance they will become tolerant. When we meet life with laughter, they will develop a sense of humor. When we display genuine gratitude, they too will become grateful. Our children are watching every move we make. We provide the able example, the model imperative. What we ARE shouts louder than anything we can say.

I must ask myself a dozen times a day:

WHAT AM I MODELING?

IS IT OKAY?

Tom Jefferson’s Summer Place

2010-03-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

I was working with a terrific group of people this week in Lynchburg, VA. A small company, less than 50 people. It’s an ESOP company. They are all owners. Employee Stock Option Program is a clever concept. What a great way to attract and retain the best people. After surveying the employees, conducting a tailored seminar based on their objectives, Lester, a true southern gentleman said, “Les’ go play sum gof” in a that charming southern drawl. I have played one round of golf in ten years. It showed. I drove the ball pretty well, even hit a few good shots with my 7 and 9 iron. But four-putting will never win the day. I don’ t play customer golf. I am waay too competititve.

On the fourth hole, Lester pointed out that all the land we were on was once owned by Tom Jefferson. “That was his summer house,” he pointed out with a great deal of pride.” Pausing for effect, “In fact, you can tell people you are playing with borrowed clubs that belong to the great, great, great, great, great, great grand-nephew of Virginia’s most famous fore-father. It was kind of cool. That didn’t help my golf score. Lester beat me by at least 12 strokes in nine holes. I remembered why I gave up golf after one particularly bad putt.

Golf. The sport is long overdue for a name change. I propose calling it “HUMBLE” or perhaps even ^&#)!@$?!*&^%$#@!!!~!!

Then I hit a 12 foot putt on the ninth hole. “Great shot!” Lester shouted out with genuine glee. Golfers are like that. Especially southern gentleman like Lester. It keeps us coming back. Why is it we forget ALL the bad shots once we hit one decent one?

Tom Jefferson never played golf. I wonder what he would think of it now if he were alive? In 1773, Thomas Jefferson and his wife, Martha, inherited nearly 5,000 acres of land in Bedford County, Virginia, upon the death of Martha’s father, John Wayles. While he visited the property many times over the years, and it would serve as a steady source of farming income, more than three decades would pass before he began building on the site. In 1805, just after his election to a second term as President and the tragic death of his daughter Maria, he began construction on a retreat at Poplar Forest. The house was mostly completed in 1809, as he left the Presidency and began his retirement years.

A talented architect and landscaper, Jefferson planted a Poplar Forest. The golf course is a testimony to his imagination and his liberal use of Italian and French design elements. The octagonal villa has floor to ceiling windows, skylights, columns and porticos.

Ever since George Washington began using Mount Vernon as his escape from official duties, American presidents have enjoyed private retreats. For Jefferson, that place was Poplar Forest. In his own words, “Detach from public life, which I have never loved, and retire to the bosom of my family, friends, my farm and my books, which I have always loved.”

As I write this I am taking an Amtrak train from Lynchburg to Washington, DC. There is something erstwhile and unique about watching the world go by on a train. I have fond memories of riding the rails in England as a child. The gentle sway, rumble and rocking is soothing. I had breakfast in the dining car. It gave me a chance to reflect upon three days with an ESOP company and Tom Jefferson. After that 12 foot putt, I reckon I need to read a biography on Jefferson’s life. Maybe I should reread “Golf is Not a Game of Perfect” by Bob Rottella. He is one of the top golf consultants in the country, a professor at the University of Virginia. I wonder if he is related to Tom Jefferson? Hey hand me that pitching wedge. I gotta hit one over this Poplar. I have TJ to blame for that darn tree....

Act As If and The Feelings Will Follow

2010-03-08T11:03:00.000-08:00

William James was born in 1842. He went on to become the unofficial father of American Psychology. I am a died in the wool “Jamesian” meaning I agree with and practice his philosophy and psychology. He heavily influenced a young Teddy Roosevelt as one of the most popular professors at Harvard College. He (and his novelist brother Henry James) were educated overseas. The both wrote extensively, Henry 32 novels. William wrote about Habit, Pragmatism, Philosophy and of course Psychology, WHY people do what they do. One of my favorite principles, he wrote over 120 years ago:

“If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.”

It’s a little like the advice The Wizard of Oz gave the Cowardly Lion. ACT BRAVE and the feelings follow. James went on to write, Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.

He wrote a great deal about the importance of Attitude. On that subject he said, It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome. Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude. Success or failure depends more upon attitude than upon capacity successful men act as though they have accomplished or are enjoying something. Soon it becomes a reality. Act, look, feel successful, conduct yourself accordingly, and you will be amazed at the positive results. The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.

In my seminars I ask audiences, Is a bird happy because she sings or does she sing because she is happy? James answers my question with: “We don't laugh because we're happy - we're happy because we laugh.”

Now how does this help us in our day to day lives? How does it help to influence others in business? In Management? In Coaching? As Parents? The answer is simple, Able example. My kids (players, sales reps, employees, fill in the blank) don’t listen to a word I say but watch every move I make!

If you don’t FEEL like smiling, do it anyway! People are watching. If you have had a bad day, shrug it off and ACT enthusiastic! People are watching! If you got seven NO’s in a row from prospects, say to yourself: “Some will, some won’t, so what, NEXT!” People are watching! If you daughter lost her soccer game and is feeling down in the dumps, be the role model of a great attitude. Avoid blaming and complaining about the coaching or officiating and ask her two questions: “What did you do well?” and “What can you do better next time?” (By the way, if you are managing sales people, those are great Autopsy Questions after you lose a sale!) People are watching.

You are the leader. Act as if! The feelings will follow! If you really want to raise your own bar, read anything by William James....you will be glad you did.

3 Keys to Influence

2010-02-21T07:56:00.000-08:00

The Door of Influence

There once was an ambitious and precocious young boy that loved cookies. He knew from observation that mother kept the cookies locked in the pantry. Every day after school, he had a 45 minute window before his little sister came home from school. Each day for a week, he consistently tried to pick the lock to the pantry, like a raccoon trying to get in a garbage can. Every day he worked on his goal, for 35 minutes; he tried credit cards, letter openers, lifting, jiggling, pulling, pushing. Discouraged, he plopped down on the ground in abject frustration. THINK! he thought to himself. There must be a way. After thinking for 24 hours, on the seventh day, he noticed a small hole in the center of the handle. He bent a paper clip, pushed in through the hole, and viola! Open pantry. He poured himself an ice cold glass of milk and ate half-a-dozen cookies.

Some doors are locked to us and may never be opened without the right key. The key of persistence. The key of innovation. The key of willingness to change the way we think. Here are three keys that will change your life and business:

Key #1 - My Limitations are Self-Imposed
If I am a failure, and I resent the success of someone else, I am keeping my own success at arms length. The lock of resentment keeps me out of the pantry. I must be happy for others success and share in their joy. I need to habitually say “Good for you!” and “Way to go, you deserve it!” I need to SMILE more. I need to stop complaining and whining about the economy or the industry. I must change my attitude. A successful man or woman never gives up. I must change the way I THINK. We attract the things we dwell upon. It’s a law like Gravity. What am I attracting?

Key #2 - What Am I Sending Out?
Another lock is Fear and Doubt. Shakespeare said: “Our doubts are traitors that make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing the attempt.” Doubts and fears are a double lock on the door to your pantry. I must expect success. I must look forward to positive outcomes. I must believe in myself by reminding myself of past successes or WINS. “If I did it once I can do it again!” and “What one man (or woman) can do, another can!” What am I sending out?

Key #3 - What Is My Self-Talk?

100 years ago in the Pacific Northwest, Logging camps in the spring where an exciting and dangerous place to be. After the great evergreen trees were cut down, stripped of their branches they were sent down the river to the mill in great numbers. Sometimes the logs became crossed and caused a jam. The foreman would look for the log causing the jam. It was called the King-Pin. Once that log was moved, all the logs would rush down the river to the mill. What is my King-Pin? It could be Self-Pity. It could be Doubt. It could be Resentment. The more I resent, the more I have to resent. If I grow a resentment track in my brain, it becomes an all consuming negative habit. I must find my King-Pin and move it out of the way. I have found examining my self-talk is vital to my long term success. I often have more than one King-Pin. Old beliefs, limiting beliefs handed down from less informed people from my childhood hold me back. Locked doors. King-Pins. I must free myself from the tyrants of negative thinking. When I do that the logs in my life go rushing down the river of abundance.

Those cookies of my life taste great. The milk is ice cold. All I have to do to unlock the pantries of my life is THINK. (Oh, and the hero in our little story better confess his crime, share the cookies with his little sister and keep growing in the right direction). Food for thought.

INVICTUS

2010-02-21T07:37:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the new Clint Eastwood movie about Nelson Mandella starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon? Some say it's a sports movie about Rugby. Some say it's a political film about Apartheid. I think its about thinking, living and focusing on principles, staying focused on the long term and INFLUENCE! After you read the poem below and watch the film, you tell me...

“Invictus”

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance,
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath & tears,
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

William E. Henley

I read this poem every day. It's profound. What if you found a poem that reflects your attitudes and values and made it your own? John Wooden, the greatest men's college basketball coach did...you can too. Or just go watch a Clint Eastwood movie...

It All Goes Back In the Box

2010-02-01T15:48:00.001-08:00

The Most Important Lesson

When a new mentor of mine, best-selling author Ken Blanchard, was 13 years old, he would visit his grandmother who lived in another town in upstate New York. She taught him how to play Monopoly and, despite always losing to her, he loved the game. He vowed that one day he would beat her, HE would win! She would smile and say, “Remember, Ken, it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.”

Ken was a competitive kid. He wanted to learn how to win at this addictive little board game. As luck would have it, a 16-year-old boy moved in next door that fall and HE had a Monopoly set. They played every weekend. By the next summer, he had dramatically improved his skills. He couldn’t wait to visit his grandmother.

As he walked through the doorway upon his return, Ken said to grandmother, “Let’s play Monopoly!” His grandmother smiled as only grandmothers can do. In a reasonably short time he had forced her into bankruptcy! He had finally won! As he cheered and jumped up and down, she smiled again and said, “Now Ken, let me share with you the most important lesson this game teaches us. You see, Ken, Monopoly is just like life in many ways. But when the game is over, everything you have earned and worked for, well, it all goes back in the box.” She folded the board and slid the pieces into the box, looked at him with a smile and put the game back on the shelf.

Symptoms or Solutions

2010-01-31T15:10:00.000-08:00

How is your health? Did you set some Wellness Goals in 2010? Are you exercising daily? Are you eating better this year?

My mother used to say: "IF you have your health, you have everything." She is right.

I recently re-read a few books with the focus on wellness and good health: "The Secret" "The Healing Heart" "Younger Every Year" "Fit For Life" Here are some quotes from those books.

Happier thoughts lead to essentially a happier biochemistry. A happier and healthier body. Negative thoughts and stress have been shown to seriously degrade the body and the functioning of the brain, because it is our thoughts and emotions that are continuously reassembling, reorganizing and re-creating our body. Dr. John Hagelin

>GOOGLE Cathy Goodman’s Story LAUGHTER is the Best Medicine
She employed three simple strategies to heal her breast cancer:
GRATITUDE
FAITH
LAUGHTER & JOY

NORM COUSINS Masterpiece “The Healing Heart” tells us:
ATTITUDES play a large part in combatting illness. Specifically: Laughter, Playfulness, Joy, Faith, Hope and Love. Laughter releases endorphins which activate a morphine-like substance effect. Psycho-Neuro-Immunology is the study of how we think/feel and the mind and body’s ability to bolster the immune system to fight and win against disease. He suggests:
Rent and watch a comedy a night for 30-nights. LAUGH as many times a day as you can!
Massive doses of Vitamin C every 3-4 hours (as it’s water soluble & out of our systems in that short span of time). 1500 miligrams 4x daily for 30 days.
Make a Long Gratitude List of reasons why life is so wonderful and a precious gift
Get in the habit of helping others less fortunate than you
Make a long list of Goals - A lifetime goal list regardless of your age. What would you like to SEE, DO, HAVE, BECOME & SHARE?

PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR WORDS! Words and their corresponding feelings form BELIEFS on a sub-conscious level. With 60,000 thoughts a day going through our minds, and over 75% of them negative, pay particular attention to the ones you repeat over and over. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO YOURSELF? Write them down. Look at them. Change the negative ones.

"I will be the same person in five years but for two things: The PEOPLE I choose to associate with and the BOOKS I choose to read!"
Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, Best Selling Author, Speaker

Where is your focus? Is it on Symptoms or Solutions? Is it time to join a health club?

The Greatest Salesman In the World?

2010-01-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

His name was Joe Girard. He was born in the ghettos of Detroit. He started out as a shoeshine boy, then newspaper delivery boy, then assembling stoves. He eventually began building homes. That business failed. His father told him he would never amount to anything. At thirty five, he was married, had two kids and took a job selling Chevrolet’s on commission. For the first year, he almost starved to death. He was about ready to quit the car business. He had failed. Then one day, he stumbled on the simple idea. Know what you want, write it down and commit yourself to accomplishing it!

He used to give his business card to his customers with the customer’s name on the back. Anytime a new customer comes in with an old customer’s name on his card, the old customer gets $25 as a thank you. In one year he mailed out $14,000! (in 1975)

At football games, whenever his hometown team scored a touchdown, he would throw 100 business cards up in the air!

From that magic day he committed himself to success, everything changed. From 1963 to 1978 he sold more cars one-to-one than anyone in the history of automobile retail sales. His best day? 18 cars sold in 24 hours. His best month? 174 cars sold. His best year? 1425! A Guiness World Record!

He retired in 1978 to write books and speak. His books and tapes have sold over 8 million copies. I guess his father was wrong.

Getting Bigger Than Your Job

2010-01-17T12:34:00.000-08:00

Many years ago I came across the concept of “Getting Bigger than Your Job.” It’s a simple concept really. The theory is no one gets promoted per say, they just get bigger than their job. Are you frustrated because no one appreciates all your efforts? Have you been passed over for promotion? Do you feel stuck? Maybe there is a reason.

A friend of mine who is a world class sales person told me over breakfast that in his first year he was almost fired for being such a bad sales person. He smiled as he recalled how naïve and green he was. “Dumber than a bag of hammers” was the phrase I recall. “I didn’t deserve a raise or a promotion. I was working hard but not producing. I equated hours logged as the measure of my success. It was a poor measure. Results were the name of the game. I simply wasn’t producing.” Then he went to work on his own personal development. He took responsibility for his own career.

Fix the following question in your mind. Do you want more KASH? It’s an acronym. It stands for:

K = Knowledge
A = Attitude
S = Skills
H = Habits

If you want to earn more money, go to work on these four disciplines and watch the opportunity for more responsibility laid upon your doorstep. Let’s take one at a time.

Knowledge
Is it power? NO, Knowledge is potential power. Applied Knowledge is power. How well do you know your company's products and services? Would you say you are an expert in your company? In your industry? I listened to a Brian Tracy audio tape years ago and he suggested if you are in Sales to read at least 30-60 minutes each morning in a Sales book. So I did. I started with 20 minutes. An idea emerged from the reading the fifth day. I applied it and what do you know? I closed a sale. I got excited. I kicked it up to 45 minutes each morning. Sales started to flow like water. I got up 90 minutes earlier just to read. Within 90 days, I was 250% of Sales Plan. Read Books, listen to CD’s while you drive, read trade magazines in your industry. Become an expert. It won’t take long, in less than six months you will be the expert in your company. In year, an expert in your region. In five years, in the country….

Attitude
How is yours? Your attitude is choice you make each day. Be honest and ask yourself, is your attitude:

Optimistic?......................................Pessimistic?
Grateful?............................................Cynical?
Expectant?..........................................Negative?
Service Focused.....................................Entitled?
Extra-Mile Focused?........................Doing the Minimum?
Abundance?..............................................Lack?

Skills
Let’s stay with our Sales analogy. In any job, there are usually six core competencies. If you conducted an honest assessment of your current skills, on a scale of 1-10, how do you measure up? In Sales Training, I teach the following six disciplines are central to sales success. Rate Yourself on a scale of 1-10 for each one:

___ Prospecting & Planning (Who and How)

___ Qualifying (Asking Questions & Active Listening Skills)

___ Proposal Writing (Writing Skills and Creativity)

___ Closing Skills (A Choice of Yeses and Asking)

___ Service After the Sale (Delivering More Than Promised)

___ Marketing & Referral Generation (Gravity Marketing)

How do you stack up? If there is any doubt sit down with your boss or sales manager and ask for objective and honest feedback. Then go to work on your skills. Get a mentor. Keep a journal. Read, study, evaluate, grow.

Habits
First we form habits then they form us. In sales it’s forming the habit of doing the things most sales people don’t like to do. Calling on people who don’t want to see you and talk about things they would rather not discuss.
The Habit of Persistence.
The Habit of Resilience.
The Habit of Study.
The Habit of Going the Extra Mile.
The Habit of Delivering MORE than you promised.
The Habit of Planning each day, week, month, quarter, year.
The Habit of Smiling.
The Habit of Asking for what you want creatively, consistently, professionally.

Life and business don’t just happen, they happen just. It’s a fair and ordered universe in which we live and work. Get bigger than your job. When you notice that you have, everyone else will have known for a while. Results are the name of the game. If you remember K.A.S.H. you can toss that bag of hammers assume more responsibility. The money will follow.

"Take a coin from your purse and put it in your head. It will come flowing out of your head and overflow your purse."
Ben Franklin

If You Build It They Will Come

2010-01-13T19:21:00.000-08:00

Do you remember the movie “Field of Dreams?” “Shoeless Joe Jackson” whispers to Kevin Costner, “If you build it, they will come!” This father and son movie was about faith, hope and redemption. Eleven Christmas's ago, my family and I were staying at the Four Seasons in Seattle for two days during the holidays, a sort of recharging of the batteries. My then 12-year old son, Colin, and I were standing at the front desk when I noticed Kevin Costner walk by. I said to my son, “Hey, Colin, there goes Kevin Costner!” Needless to say, he did not believe me. The woman at the front desk smiled and whispered, “Yes, it is. He is leaving today.” As we walked out the front door for lunch, he was standing waiting for his car. I smiled and said, “Kevin, I truly admire your work. The characters you portray have a common theme that appeals to many people. Your work is making a difference.” He smiled and humbly said, “Thank you.” Then I said, “How is your golf game?” (Knowing he was avid golfer.) His face lit up and he began talking enthusiastically talking about his short game. My son stood in awe, after all, this was KEVIN COSTNER, the movie star! He then turned to my son and asked, “Do you play ball?” Colin smiled, turning three shades of red, and admitted he did. “Are you any good?” I smiled and affirmed he was. Kevin’s car arrived after a very spirited ten- minute conversation. He shook our hands and drove off.

As we walked away, Colin said, “What a nice guy. Why did he talk to us so long, Dad?”
I thought for a minute and replied, “I think it’s because famous people like to be treated like regular folks and regular folks like to be treated like famous people.” I went on to say, “Remember the film Tin Cup? We talked about something in which I knew he had a passion for, golf. We also started the conversation with sincere appreciation. Everyone craves that son.”

A river never rises above its source. How do you decrease turnover and attract great people to your organization in this drum tight labor market? I turned to one of my clients in Toledo, Ohio for the answers. I was hired to assist him in increasing his sales. He has a line of people waiting to come to work for him. Why? As I interviewed him for this article, I was able to identify a number of elements that were causal to this phenomenon. The observable behaviors are as follows:
The first thing out of his mouth when he sees one of his employees is, “How is your family?” He genuinely cares about people.
He pays a little more than his competition.
He passionately believes in training of all kinds.
“Mi Casa, Su Casa.” Translated from Spanish, “My house is your house.” If one of his guys needs to borrow anything the company has, like a flatbed truck over the weekend, it’s theirs to use. He trusts them.
He promotes from within whenever possible.
He has a passion for Service and he takes unhappy customers personally.
He surrounds himself with good people and then gets out of their way.
He loves what he does. (He is in the mechanical contracting business.)
Someone once asked Chi-Chi Rodriguez after a particularly great round of golf on the Seniors tour why his touch on the greens was so amazing. He smiled and said, “Maybe it’s because I mowed them for so long!” Norb has done it all in his business and his people know it and can ask him anything.
He is not afraid to say, “I don’t know. Let’s go find out.”
Finally, he never stops growing, and he is flexible. He knows what he wants and is willing to change, grow and adapt.

These aren’t the only reasons, but they are some of the obvious ones.
If you are responsible for finding and keeping good people, look inside first. Before you invest a huge amount of money on advertising and promotion, consider the following questions:
What’s been my turnover rate inside my company the last four years?
Why do people leave?
What can I do to reduce turnover and attract the people I need?
I am not suggesting don’t advertise. I am saying consider investing a portion of your discretionary capital in growing and improving your culture from the inside out. Become more. Grow yourself and your people. Consider this simple truth, “Everyone needs two things, to be understood and appreciated.” Do your employees feel that way in your company? When was the last time you asked them in non-threatening way?

If you build it, they will come. Like the Field of Dreams, people will knock on your door if you become the company of choice by treating people with dignity and respect.

I believe the quality of our lives is in direct proportion to the quality of our relationships. These ideas applied can have a dramatic effect for good on the quality of your life. And, oh yes, if it makes you smile, think and take action, then I have succeeded.

Stories Are Sticky

2009-12-14T04:44:00.000-08:00

Do you want to make a point that sticks in the mind of the prospect? Tell a story. A sad story, a funny story, a good story. I like stories that make me laugh, cry or think. I like 1st and 3rd stories best. Here is one you might like:

An Italian businessman from Milan walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Italy on business for two weeks
And needed to borrow $5,000, and that he was not a
depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need
some form of security for the loan, so the Italian
handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was
parked on the street in front of the bank. The
Italian produced the title and everything checked
out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as
collateral for the loan and apologized for having to
charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all
enjoyed a good laugh at the Italian for using a
$250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the
bank's underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Italian returned, repaid the $5,000
and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer
said, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your
business, and this transaction has worked out very
nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were
away, we checked you out and found that you are a
multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you
bother to borrow $5,000?'
The Italian replied: 'Where else in New York City
can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and
expect it to be there when I return?'

Have a wonderful holiday season!

Interviews Should Be Planned In Advance

2009-12-08T09:12:00.000-08:00

I am going to be interviewed for a Podcast next week. The questions were sent to me in advance. Here they are:

"Before we start, why don’t you share a little about your background.

1. You’ve just finished a new book, called “A Simple Choice.” What’s this book all about?

2. When you write books, you embed lessons in a story. Why do you write that way?

3. You write inspiration books and give inspirational speeches. Where do you go to get your inspiration?"

I have a chance to think about and create my answers. When you watch a TV show or Radio Interview, they are NOT just winging it. It's planned. Leno, Oprah, Rose. It's scripted and then improv plays a part.

Anthony Hopkins, my favorite actor, reads every script 250 times before he ever steps in front of the camera. "We have scripts to memorize so when the lights come on, we can do what we are paid to do...ACT!"

Do you have a script for your next sales call? Do you have it memorized? Okay maybe not read 250 times, buy do you at least have a "Cheat Sheet" to glance at during the call? Are they sequenced and logical? Are they planned?

Every thing I have ever sold, I created a script of well thought out, open ended questions. Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem to teach his 12-Year old son the power of open ended quetions: "There are six honest serving men, they taught me all I knew. There names were WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY, HOW and WHO!" Open ended questions, well planned, create a flow of information in a logical manner.

What if you planned your set of questions, memorized them and did a little role-playing? I wonder how it would go? Better than what you have been doing? What if 2010 was your best year yet?

Gotta go. I have some questions to answer! The podcast calls...

First We Form Habits, Then They Form Us

2009-11-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

In social situations do you dominate the talking or listening?
Have you developed the habit of asking questions?

This Thanksgiving, I eve’s dropped on conversations around the table. I made mental notes about each person at the table. Who was talking, who was listening? Who talked about themselves incessantly and who was OTHER-Centered and focused on listening to the stranger next to them? It was interesting. I believe your habits when you are not working affect your work. Think about it. Who are you when you are not working?

I love to ask a question, sit back and listen. I never learn anything when I am talking! I used to worry about whether I would get to talk. Now I don’t care. Hey, I talk for a living. It’s kind of nice to rest my vocal chords.

My wife is a natural listener. She is genuinely interested in others. Watching her navigate through a social setting, she has a SERVICE first attitude. People love her. She asks if she can help and then does with little fanfare. Its a habit. Along the way she asks questions and listens. Everyone that meets her just loves her. She cares. It shows.

First we form habits then they form us.

Are you Grateful on a daily basis?
Do you read a book in alignment with your goals daily?
Do you keep a journal and get from the day (not just through it?)
Do you dominate the listening?
Do you follow up with leads and build relationships right away?
Are you building your base of contacts daily?
Do you lead with service to others?

One of my mentors was Earl Nightingale. Google him some time and get ready to learn. He was a pioneer in Personal Development. Invest in a copy of “The Strangest Secret” You will be glad you did.

He once wrote: “We will receive not what we idly wish for but what justly earn. Our rewards in life will be in exact proportion to our service (to others).”

I have got to go help my wife with dishes...and listen!

Hold an ADVANCE (not a Retreat)

2009-11-04T13:16:00.003-08:00

Prior to the great Depression, an 800 pound gorilla ruled the cereal jungle....Post. Launched in 1897, Post Grape-Nuts dominated the marketplace leading up to 1929. Then the crash. As the Great Depression tightened its grip, that gorilla dropped its bananas. They were cash hungry. In a move that can only be described as a cautionary tale, they cut back on their training, marketing and advertising budget. In short, they retreated.

Another animal lurked in the shadows with sharp claws. The company? Kelloggs. (Their future mascot would indeed be “Tony the Tiger” but not for a couple of decades). While Post retreated Kelloggs advanced. In 1933, they created motivational mantras with sticky words like: “Snap, Crackle, and Pop!” and “You’ll FEEL better!” They doubled their ad spend. The investment paid off. Americans loved the message and sales took off.

Steve, a client and good friend of mine recently told me at a trade show where I was speaking; “We decided not to participate in the recession. He announced that to his wife 18 months ago. Then he “Advanced”!! He changed his attitude, doubled his efforts, doubled his ad spending and guess what? He is having the best year he has ever had. Business is up 31%!!!

Instead of HIBERNATE>>>>>INNOVATE!
Instead of COMPLAIN>>>>>>REFRAIN!
Instead of FORLORN>>>>>>BRAINSTORM!
Instead of RETREAT>>>>>>>ADVANCE!

Gather your team together with a flip chart and 3 x 5 cards and ask some great questions at a lunch and learn once a week or once a month....buy some pizza, lock the door for 90 minutes and ask the people you serve for ideas! Send me an email, I will give you some ideas. Get me on the phone, I will do a FREE teleconference (only one!) Hold an Advance. Do some Gorilla-Marketing!!! You enjoy the bananas you find! Is that a tiger across the street?

Ben Who? (Part Two)

2009-10-30T04:21:00.000-07:00

Form the Habit of Selling Yourself On What You Are Selling
Its really believing in your product or service. Its understanding what it can really do for you clients. By developing this level of empathy, it fosters the respect for the buyer’s good sense.

Form the Habit of Continuous Study
Learning more can help you close the business that use to get away. Learning helps you understand the constantly changing landscape of laws and economics. He keeps his mind open to new ideas and demonstrates a willingness to learn from others. He is teachable and borrows from others in his industry. This fosters a willingness to learn from others.

Form the Habit of Increasing Your Goals
There is no limit to what a salesman can earn. Ben’s career proved that. The habit of increasing his goals allowed him make ten times the commission of his peers. This fosters the opportunity for financial independence.

Form the Habit of Seeking Perfection
If you aim for perfection and fall short of your aim, you won’t fall too far from the top. The habit of checking and double checking fosters the habit of quality work.

Form the Habit of Setting Achievable Deadlines
Ben did just that. Three applications a week. Simple. A track to run on. He takes his big goals and breaks them down into smaller goals. This habit of achievable deadlines fosters efficient hard work and the satisfaction of a challenge met.

Here are some of Ben’s favorite Power Phrases:

Nothing builds a fire under me more than someone telling me I can’t do something. I don’t believe it and am going to prove you wrong.

Strange as it may seem, our biggest problem is to sell ourselves. Most men exchange their lifetime for much too little. Believe in what you do.

Anything your mind can conceive, that you’ll believe, you can achieve.

Prospecting is basically recognizing a problem and making sure the problem has a price tag.

Prospecting is people with an idea.

Use logic first, emotion second. There is nothing like a disturbing question to build a fire under a man.

You know, when you buy a pair of pants, you don’t just buy any pair. You try them on. You make sure they fit.

It takes a smart businessman to make money. It takes a genius to keep it.

My week has seven days.

Most men don’t do anything wrong. They don’t do anything. That’s what’s wrong.

Problems are price tags. Someone always pays.

Like a tailor with a bolt of cloth, you must make it fit.

Spend more time in preparation than in presentation.

Don’t be afraid of BIG dreams. They have a way of coming true.

Be sold yourself.

In one word, it’s study. You have to study.

Speak slowly, clearly, softly, definitely, and---be sure.

When you are tired, get excited about something.

If you are in Sales, consider printing this out. Read it again. Highlight and underline the parts that really stood out for you. If you manage sales people, make copies for your team. Go over it. Read it aloud. Discuss it.

ASK YOURSELF and YOUR TEAM:

What can you borrow?

What are the three things I learned or am Taking Away?

What are the actions I intend to take tomorrow?

Better yet, Google Ben Feldman and see what comes up. You might even stumble on a copy of Andrew Thomson's book...if you are lucky. He changed my life and business.

Ben Who? (Part One)

2009-10-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

This week I decided to break tradition and write in the third person. This profile of a sales superstar is too long for one post so I broke it up into two parts.

Ben Who? (Part One)
He was born in 1912, one of nine children. His parents fled the ghettos of Russia and settled in the midwest. By age 26, he was earning a meager $10 a week selling butter and eggs for his father in Salineville, Ohio. In 1938, it was a very small town. He was a short man, heavy set, his tightly curled hair, receding a little more each year. His voice was soft with a hint of a lisp. If you passed him on the street, he probably would not grab your attention.

When he first took the job of Life Insurance Salesman, his friends and family were a little worried for him. He was selling in a town of 22,000 people. He simply told them: If I decide to dig ditches, I’ll dig the best ditches. If I am going to sell Life Insurance, I’ll be the best Life Insurance Salesman there is.

By his third year, although doing well, he was not satisfied. A man has to let go of lower things and reach for higher things. His Sales Manager threw down his first big challenge. What if you became a member of the Million Dollar Roundtable in the next 12 months? That was it. A Big Goal. His first son had just been born, he was 29 years old. He went after the goal with the kind of relentless effort, passion and energy anyone in his office had ever seen. He tripled his volume with a simple objective: Three cases a week and keep it simple! Goals aren’t enough. You need goals plus deadlines. Goals big enough to get excited about and a deadline to make you run; together they can be tremendous.

At the height of his sales success, Andrew Thomson, his sales manager, wrote about Ben in 1969 in the out-of-print book “The Feldman Method.” Although the ideas are 40 years old, the principles have stood the test of time. Below you will find Ben Feldman’s 10 Success Characteristics. You will also find some magnificent quotes that give you some insight into his philosophy.

Form the Habit of Careful Preparation
In general he keeps abreast of all relevant literature. He attends sales meetings and seminars. In particular, he learns everything he can about his prospect and comes up with just the right solution to his prospects problem. His preparation fosters confidence.

Form the Habit of Organizing Your Work Each Day
First he organizes What has to be done in order of importance. First things first. Then he decides When it must be done. He plans his entire week in advance. His organizing fosters self-discipline.

Form the Habit of Creative Hard Work
He will work on his ideas, then rework them over and over again until they are flawlessly simple and simply flawless. His rework fosters the perseverance.

Form the Habit of Fitting Individual Needs
Ben never just sells policies. He sells “tailored dollars” ---packages of money fitted to a specific financial need of his prospect. This habit of tailoring fosters flexibility.

Form the Habit of Thinking Solely In Your Clients Best Interest
Ben doesn’t make sales. He makes “dreams come true.” To Ben, Life Insurance: establishes credit, raises cash, builds business, guarantees the education of a man’s children, provides for his old age. This other-centered thinking fosters the having goals other than money.

Stay tuned for the second part next week.

Fries With That?

2009-10-14T13:29:00.000-07:00

In 2006, I had made several presentations at Hamburger University in Oak Brook IL. It’s quite a place. It’s a world class training facility that is rented out to corporations. It’s a four star hotel that Hyatt runs. It’s a museum and a testimony to Ray Kroc’s innovative and extra-ordinary contribution to business.

In the 1980’s the McDonald’s Corporation taught their drive through and counter sales people to ask one simple question with three words, “Fries with that?” The effect was profound and dramatic. Sales of french fries soared. It wasn’t long before late night comedians grabbed a hold of this phrase and had fun with it. It had become part of the american lexicon.

I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’ The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?’
 - Jay Leno

I don’t care what you sell, you can always up-sell. Clothes, software, cars, food, cameras, appliances, HVAC, even popcorn. Have you been to the movies lately and bought some popcorn? “For 50 cents more, you can have a twenty gallon tub!” The Up-Sell. This is an important principle to understand and apply, especially in a Down Economy.

Here is how it works. Once you have made the initial conceptual sale, let’s say a $300 camera. Providing you have established some measure of rapport, the prospect likes and trusts you, the timing is right and you are a competent sales professional, the conversation might sound like this: “That is an excellent choice. It will do everything we have discussed. I do feel obligated however to tell you about the Mach 5 option. The Mach 5 has all the features of the Mach 4 but with these additional 109 features for only $99 more.” The prospect says, “Wow...let’s do it.” You could stop there but why? You are on a roll. “What kind of camera bag do you have?” The prospect smiles, shrug his shoulders and says, “Camera Bag?” Now we are going over those options. The dance continues, “Cords, cleaner’s, extended warranties” (the list goes on and on.) Before you know it, the total sale is $899! More importantly the customer is delighted.

I can hear some readers, “Hey, I don’t want to be pushy!” Look, we are talking about simply asking a few more questions, understanding the prospects deeper needs. You are walking a mile in his or her shoes. You are revving up your “Empathy Engine” and they are delighted.

Two opportunities exist at the point of sale:
1) The Up-Sell of additional elements (add ons at minor price points)
2) A choice of two other options at higher price points

There is magic in THREES. Offer a choice of three yeses. Option One is what you agreed upon in the initial offer. The other new options are loaded with value and features. You never know until you ask. The key is to be low key, detached (almost indifferent) shrugging your shoulders immediately after the offer is made. In my experience, 30-40% of the time, they will gladly accept one of the new offers...hence, an Up-Sell.

As a consumer, when I am in the hands of a real professional salesperson, I appreciate the extra-time and options. As long as its done correctly, with tact, skill and detachment, I appreciate the choices. Remember, “Unassertive Sales People Have Skinny Kids!”

So are you hungry? How about a Big Mac....and hey, do you want “Fries with that?”

The Soundtrack of Our Lives

2009-10-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

In 1980 I attended my first Bruce Springsteen concert. I was forever changed. When I think of WHY I have felt connected to Bruce Springsteen’s music since then, the answer is simple. At that age and stage in my life, I wanted to break out! I want to take off. Bruce gave me permission with Born to Run and Darkness on the Edge of Town. In trying to describe the effect his music has on me, three words echo in my head, Urgency, Excellence and Gratitude. Someone once said “Music is the soundtrack of our lives.” If that is true, Springsteen’s been writing my soundtrack for 34 years.

A CD is a product. We pay $14.95 for lyrics, melodies, production values and how it affects our senses. When we attend a concert on the other hand, we are buying something completely different. We are buying a service. We are paying for an experience and a relationship. Ever been to a really bad concert? The singer clearly didn’t want to be there. It was a 45 minute show, and the artist was mechanical and indifferent. Technically, it’s the same as the CD. But the feeling we have is worse. Our expectations go unmet. The promise is implied, yet goes unmet.

Products are made; Services are delivered.
Products are used; Services are experienced.

The Boss with his live concerts accomplished something unique in popular music; he under-promised and over-delivered. His live concert changed my relationship with him and virtually everyone else in attendance. Mind you I was already a fan of his products and had not just all his albums but five or six bootleg tapes of live concerts. My wife thought I was insane. In 1980, I stayed up all night sitting on the ground in alley with 50 other fans waiting for the ticket office to open. The Friday night before I heard “Darkness on the Edge of Town” coming from an alley. Once I determined why they were there, I convinced my friend to loan me $100 bucks and I stayed.

The tour launched his “The River” album. The concert lasted four hours. It was a spiritual experience, a revival. Unless you have heard him with the E-Street Band, it’s tough to communicate what happens and how you feel at one of his concerts. How about: exhilarated, hopeful, excited, jazzed, and ready to take on the world. That’s a good start. He played two sets, two hours each. The Boss demonstrated excellence in showmanship, lyrics, passion, musicianship, storytelling, in short, VALUE. It was twice as long as any concert I had ever been to. No one wanted him to stop after 4-hours!

You could tell Bruce and his pals were having a ball and so glad to be up there. It was for the love of the music and moment. He was grateful then, he is grateful now.

February 5, 2009 cover story in Rolling Stone Magazine by David Fricke features “The Boss” in an intimate interview at his new house and studio in Colt’s Neck, NJ. It concludes with his wife of 20 years, Patti saying “You’re in a manic state, running like crazy from...death itself?” Smiling and paraphrasing his wife, Bruce concludes, “It’s a funny thing to say. I’ve got a deadline. That fire I feel in myself and the band---it’s a very enjoyable thing. It carries (with it) an element of desperateness. It also carries with it an element of thankfulness. We are perched at a place where we want to continue with excellence,” he says with pride. “That’s our goal. The rest of the stuff we’re gonna figure it out.”

At age 60, he still carries with him an attitude of urgency, excellence and gratitude. That’s the connection. Thanks Bruce. You are the Boss....

PS
 Actor Mickey Rourke wrote Bruce a letter asking him to write the song for the ending of his career comeback film “The Wrestler” The film ends with this haunting ballad of reality and honesty. It won a Grammy. The film is gut wrenching, and will stay with you for days. Bruce has it as a bonus track on his new CD “Working on a Dream.” It’s the best album he has done since “Born to Run.” Hopefully this time, I won’t have to wait in an alley all night for tickets...I still would.

If This Were My Mother's House

2009-09-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

In a recent tele-coaching session with an east coast contractor, I was reminded of a simple idea I stumbled upon 25 years ago when I was a technician and first learning how to sell.
I had just changed a compressor and the customer was complaining about the cost of the compressor change. I smiled. The compressor had failed due to neglect on his part. In four years he had not changed the filters or done any kind of maintenance. That is a lot like someone complaining to their dentist about the cost and pain of root canal when they haven’t brushed their teeth in four years.

I simply said to him, “It seems like a shame. Only the good die young.” With a puzzled look on his face he said, “What?” I explained, “You have nine other units on the roof. They will suffer the same fate of the five ton compressor I just changed in a short period of time. The filters are collapsed, the coils are plugged solid with dirt, and the belts are cracked. It’s just a matter of time....” He was leaning forward. I had his undivided attention. I was on a roll. “Look, it’s your building. You do what you want. However, if this were my mothers building, this is what I would tell her. ‘Mom, you gotta let me clean the coils when they get dirty. You gotta let me change the filters four times a year. You gotta let me replace the belts annually. Whatever it costs you for me to do that will be paid back in lower utility bills and extended equipment life.’” Pausing for effect, I continued, “I gotta go. My pager just went off. I have another call (hey, this was 1984).” He grabbed my arm and said, “Write it up.” I didn’t even know what IT was! “You mean a service agreement for maintenance?” “Yes,” he said, “I’m sold!”

All these years later, as I reflect on why that sale happened, the high points emerge:
 I was authentic and sincere (“If this were my mom’s building...”)
 I was honest (pulling no punches)
 I spoke in the first person (“If it were me...”)
 I was detached (and really busy)
 I was competent technically and he trusted me
 I gave him the dignity of choice (“It’s your building...”)

First person stories that serve as warnings are very effective. Equally effective are third person examples.... “My client on the east coast is a sponge. I met him conducting a sales seminar in Virginia last February. I asked for a volunteer to do some role playing in front of 60 people. He was brave enough to come up and learn publicly. True to form, after sharing a success story this morning by telephone, he asked me to dissect what he did well and what he could improve. I guess that’s why we are working together still. He is a serious student of change. Those are the kind of clients that hire me. They don’t need to be sick to get better!”

The common sense things he did well in his story were simple and anyone can start doing them tomorrow. He claims he used much of what I taught at the seminar to close more business than he ever has. I think he is being kind. He was already really good at his job. This is what I heard in his first person story this morning:
 After knocking on the door, he took a step back allowing space
 He asked if he could come in to take a look at her HVAC equipment
 He explained in simple terms that the compressor had failed and she had a choice: Replace the compressor on an old piece of equipment or replace the unit entirely
 He asked questions and really listened
 He asked how long she was going to be in the house as that might affect her decision
 He asked if SHE was the decision maker and whether or not her husband should be involved in the process
 He asked how she would like the proposal (In person or email)
 He followed up and asked for the sale in two days

HE CLOSED THE SALE! When he asked me what he could improve I told him the story I began with... “If this were my mother’s house....”

When clients ask your opinion, tell them what you think with one caveat. Never “SHOULD” on them. Second person doesn’t work! “You should do this” and “You must do that!” I know I don’t like to be SHOULD on....do you? Tell a story. What if you included your mom?
Nah....that wouldn’t work in your area!

Warning or Example?

2009-09-13T20:59:00.000-07:00

Some of us are warnings, some of us are examples. Everyone is always glad to see you; some when you arrive, others when you leave. Sounds a little like something Mark Twain would have written.

I was reading some of Samuel Clemens again recently at the library located at the Stehekin Valley Ranch last weekend. Like Winston Churchill, Samuel Clemens (aka, Mark Twain) always makes me smile, at times, laugh out loud.

Owen Wister recounted a story Twain told him about attending church one Sunday in Hartford, Connecticut many years ago. He began:

A missionary preached that morning. His voice was beautiful. He told me of the sufferings of the natives, he pleaded for help with such moving simplicity that Mark Twain mentally doubled the fifty cents he had intended to put in the plate. As the address proceeded, describing so pitifully the misery of the savages, the dollar in his mind gradually rose to five. A little farther along, the missionary had him crying. He felt that all the cash he carried about him would be insufficient and decided to write a large check.

“And then the preacher went on,” said Twain, suddenly whirling on me and coming to a standstill, and falling into a drawl. “Went on about the dreadful state of those natives. I abandoned the idea of the check. And he went on. And he went on. And when the plate came around, I took ten cents out of it!”

The trap many sales people fall into is knowing when to stop talking. The window of opportunity opens, if we wait too long, and keep talking about our product or service, it eventually closes. Reading the prospect’s body language is critical. Following instincts and intuition and trying a trial close is a skill to be tested and tried. Knowing when to stop talking and asking for the sale is something every new sales rep needs to develop.

As another story goes, the young, ambitious, newly hired sales rep burst into the seasoned Sales Manager’s office his second week on the job and exclaimed, “I want to be successful like you! You have the plaques on the wall and have won all the awards. Tell me in one sentence exactly what I need to be successful. I am ready to learn and close some business!” The seasoned Sales Manager smiled. He said simply, “Grab your journal. I will give the wisdom of my experience.” The young rep smiled, and said, “Ready!” Pausing for effect, the Sales Manager said simply, “All you need is good judgment.” The rep wrote that down and asked, “How do I get that?” “Experience,” the Manager said with some bemusement. “How do I get that?” the rep inquired. “Bad judgment! Now go get ‘em!”

Are your prospects glad to see you upon your arrival or departure? Are you the warning or the example? You can tell if they are taking ten cents out of your plate! Now go get ‘em!

Mark Matteson can be reached by email mark.enjoythejourney.matteson@gmail.com or by phone 206.697.0454
or to sign up for the monthly e-newsletter go to www.mattesonavenue.com

Wanna Buy Some Cookies?

2009-09-05T12:32:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful sunny day in Seattle, the third week in March 2003. I was headed to Starbucks attached to the local grocery store. March Madness and Girl Scout Cookies were everywhere. I was thinking about the days activities ahead. Two young Girl Scout merchants, 11 year olds and their moms where just setting up a TV tray to display their wares. I immediately looked away. If I don’t make eye contact, they won’t see me!

As I stood in line for coffee, I began to question my attitude about buying cookies from Girl Scouts. Why am I such a Scrooge about helping out these young entrepreneurs? Answer? My wife always buys a box or two. As if that were not enough, hey, I sure don’t need the empty calories. I had a hundred excuses but not one good reason. Right then and there, I changed my attitude. I went back outside with my Venti drip coffee in hand.

“So, why should I buy some cookies from you?” I asked with a mock sarcasm. I was having a little bit of fun and testing their sales acumen. The most assertive of the two girls said, “Cause they taste good,” in the meek quiet voice. “Why else?” I asked with a grin. The other girl chimed in, “Because we are raising money for a trip!” Like Raptors, they were double teaming me and building momentum. Now in both responses, they were telling me about what I like to call “Company Centered Features.” Features never inspired me to buy anything. Benefits that matter to me on the other hand capture my attention and inspire me to think about parting with my hard earned cash.

I looked up at the moms and asked, “If I share some ideas with you that will help you sell a lot more boxes of cookies, would you apply them today?” Their mothers leaned forward and nudged them as if to say, it’s okay. “Yes,” the girl scouts replied with a furrowed and skeptical brow.

Now I was in full throttle mentor mode. “I want to tell you about the ‘Six Magic Words,’ that is, how to turn a feature into a benefit.” They were leaning forward to listen. “What That Means To You Is…” Without taking a breath, I continued, “Let’s take what you said to me already. ‘They taste good.’ What that means to me is, ‘They’ll taste good WITH MY COFFEE!’ Now that’s a benefit that matters to me.”

Picking up on the principle, they applied it to the other feature they shared; ‘Raising money for a trip’ was transformed into ‘What that means to me is ‘You’ll feel good about helping a worthy cause’. It was clear the mom’s were grateful.

“One more thing,” I said in a more serious tone. “From now on instead of asking ‘Would you like to buy some cookies (or not)?’ you are going to ask, ‘Would you like two boxes or four, which would you prefer?’ ”

The more assertive of two Girl Scouts processed all I had to offer, paused about five seconds and piped up with, “Okay, you are going to feel great about this investment because it’s for a good cause and they’ll go great with your coffee. Would you like to buy two boxes or four, which would you prefer?”

Guess who walked away with two boxes of mint flavored, chocolate Girl Scout Cookies?

I came back for a refill an hour later to find the two girls and their moms laughing and talking in the Starbucks. “How come you’re not selling cookies?” I asked a little surprised. “Oh, we sold them all, 46 boxes. Now we are going to go help the other girls in our troop!”

The sunny day seemed just a little brighter. Now the only problem I had was what to do with 100 cookies I didn’t need. This experience just re-confirmed what I have known for some time, women (and girls) are smarter than men. I’m gonna need a lot more coffee while I watch some basketball and eat these cookies.

Always offer a choice of yeses in any sales offering. The alternative advance close is still one the best ways to ask for the sale.
Mark Matteson

Mexican or Italian?

2009-09-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

It was the fall of 2000. I had been in Dallas, Texas for four days conducting seminars with a fine group of successful contractors. Sales training. We covered all aspects of the sales cycle: suspects, prospects, qualifying, writing proposals, asking for the sale and following up. I had come back with a slight southern drawl. I learned the plural of “You-all” (pronounced YAWL) is “All-YAWL!” Good stuff. I love Texans. They just might be the most polite people in the United States.

My wife picked me up at the airport. She had been in Court Reporting for 18 years. It was a fine career but things had changed; Margins shrinking, a glut of lawyers in Seattle, increased competition from Technology (the unspeakable, being replaced by video!) and of course, motherhood. She was a fine court reporter. It’s the toughest kind of mental work. You had to be perfect, capture every word. She worked for one of the largest and most prestigious firms in Seattle. Her technical competence assured repeat business. I was about to find out she was world class on the topic of INFLUENCE.

As we drove away from Sea-Tac airport in late afternoon on that beautiful fall day, a smile appeared in the corner of her mouth, like the gentle wiggle of a cat’s tail just before it pounces on its prey. “How was your flight?” “Oh, fine. I read most of the way.” I looked out the window as she drove. As we came to a stop at the light, she turned to me, lowered her voice an octave and in a sultry, soft tone said, “Are you hungry?” Now this was a loaded question. I am always hungry! “Starving!” I replied. “Well,” she said, in a gentle whisper, “I could make dinner, and then do the dishes, and I wouldn’t really get to hear how your trip was. So…I was just wondering, would going out to a Mexican restaurant be good, or would Italian be better? Which would you prefer?” Without hesitation or any real thought, I said, “Italian!” It wasn’t until I was dipping the bread in the olive oil; I realized what she had done to me!

In sales, I teach the “Choice of Yeses.” When it’s time to ask for the sale, you offer the prospect two or three choices, the first option is your personal preference and the one that is also in the prospect’s enlightened self-interest. That is exactly what Debbie had done to me. She knew I would choose Italian if followed by the word “Better.” As far as I know, she has never attended a sales training class, (mine or anyone else’s). This proves a point I have long contended, women are smarter than men in many areas.

What was particularly powerful about this experience was I never knew it was happening to me. It was sooo smooth, sooo seamless. Man, she was good (or should I say woman, she was good?) With the four-legs of the Sales chair: Trust, Relationship, Competence and Timing: Timing was the biggest factor. I was hungry, therefore, near helpless. I never had a chance.

Remember the next time you need to close an important sale, offer a choice of Yeses. Say, are you hungry? Mexican or Italian, which would you prefer?

Look for the causes of your success. If someone tells you that you were great, say, ‘Thank you. Why do you say that?’ and listen. Only then will we know the common denominators of success.

Mark Matteson

Your Shoes Are Too Small

2009-09-05T12:10:00.000-07:00

It was the summer of 1992, my Dad and I were playing a game of cribbage.
He was stealing points from me (his way of ‘Teaching’ me the game) when he grimaced. I thought it was a pang of conscious about cheating at cards.
I was wrong.

He took his shoes off and started rubbing his feet. “What’s wrong Dad?” I asked with genuine concern. My Dad was a guy that NEVER complained or went to the doctor. “Oh, it’s my feet son. They’re killing me.” I leaned forward and asked, “What did the doctor say?” “Oh he wants me to have an operation. I don’t want to,” he said with real fear in his voice. “Did you get a second opinion?” already knowing the answer before I asked. “Play cards,” was all he said.

The next day I called a physician client of mine. I asked about the best foot doctor in Seattle. He gave me two names, both at the University of Washington hospital. It took some doing but Dad finally relented. We played another game of cribbage two weeks later.

“What happened at the UW Hospital Dad?” “Oh well he was a real nice young man. He asked me a few questions, you know the usual.” He paused for minute, a little embarrassed about what followed. “Then he asked me what size shoe I wore? I told him 13.” He then me asked, “How long have you worn a 13?” I told him, “Since I was 14 years old.” Then he measures his foot with one of those shoe size devices. “Well Bob, according to my calculations, you wear a 15 triple E. There will be no operation for you. I want you to go home and donate all your size 13 shoes to Goodwill. Go buy a pair of Birkenstocks and a pair of Rockport’s, both size 15 EEE. Will you do that Bob?”

I looked down at his feet. He had on a pair of open toed Birkenstocks. He looked like every other neo-hippie in Seattle. “How do your feet feel now?” I asked. “Great! I am glad I went to the doctor.” Now for him to say that is like President Bush saying he hates the oil industry.

Two weeks afterward, I was sitting in the office of a Facilities Manager. He managed one of the largest buildings in Seattle. He was hesitating, balking at authorizing the agreement in front of him. It was for $75,000, a big commitment. He was afraid of what the repair costs would be once we began inspecting the HVAC equipment. Would it be $500 or $50,000 in fix up costs?

I told him the story about my Dad’s shoes. He listened intently. I concluded with the following statement, “You and I have no idea what we will find once we get in there. It could be that your shoes are too small and you don’t need an operation. There is only one way to find out…” I slid the agreement across the desk.

The story about my father was the perfect metaphor. The One-Time Maintenance or Building Audit I offered as a shallow end of the pool strategy was like trying the Birkenstocks for a couple of days. With that work, we would generate a comprehensive list of things to be done. The logic was irrefutable. He signed the agreement.

I learned some valuable lessons about stories, metaphors, shoes and second opinions. I sure wish I could play some cribbage with my Dad. I miss him.
I think I’ll call my son.

“Nothing happens until a sale is made.”
Red Motley

Nose of the Camel

2009-09-05T09:49:00.000-07:00

It was 1990. My new job was to sell Commercial Service Agreements. It was a fine company. They were growing. They wanted to expand their Service Base. I had a territory that no one wanted. It was the farthest away from the office. “There is no business there!” was all I heard from everyone when I first took the job. I also heard, “You’re nuts! Why did you give up the security of being a Technician?” I was a little nervous. Who was I going to call?

I had to. I was stale. I was restless. I was a C+ technician on my best day.
But I had people skills. I made friends easily. I liked people. I took the personality profile. I was made for the job. I read a lot. I was curious. I was ambitious. I have always been an entrepreneur. Now I was an Intra-prenuer.

Selling Commercial Service agreements in Seattle Washington is tough. The Pacific North-WET. Average annual rainfall, 32 inches. Average annual temperature, 55 degrees. When compressors fail, we switch to Outside Air, Economizer mode, aka, “Free cooling :-)

I was calling on people who didn’t want to see me and talk about something they didn’t care about. Out of sight, out of mind. I was selling an intangible. Getting the appointment is the toughest part of the sale. I would walk into 50 buildings, to get 40 names, talk to 30 people by telephone, to secure 20 face to face appointments, to close 5 deals. Start with 50, end with 5.

That was the Science of my new profession. The profession of selling is a unique blend of Art and Science, Science and Art. The Science is represented by numbers, activity, quantitative measures. The Art is represented by soft skills, people skills.

Barb Gregory was the facility manager for Bartell Drugs. They had 40 locations. One contractor was serving all 40. They were a good company. I had friends working there. As I listened to her, it was clear she was fairly content with whom she was using. It’s a common challenge. How does a salesperson overcome that one? Then something I had read in a Sales Book by Frank Bettger sparked an idea. “Compared to what or whom?”

“How do you know you are happy?” I asked Barb. “Pardon me?” she asserted. “How do you know you are happy? Compared to what? You have only ever had one contractor. As good as they are, one thing I do know about human nature. When we think we have it all, arrogance and complacency creep in. Wouldn’t it be nice to raise the bar a little?” It was a bold move. I had nothing to lose. I hadn’t made a sale in awhile.

“Where are you going with this?” she asked, leaning forward like the RCA Dog listening to the phonograph for the first time. “Well, I just wonder how much better your service would be from ABC Mechanical if they knew WE were in one of their stores.” Stone silence. I just smiled and sat back. I knew I had struck gold. Thanks, Frank. It was sound business logic. What could she say? I had established reasonable doubt, a rock in her shoe.

Waiting for her to finish her thought process, I finally interjected one more idea. “All I am looking for is one store,” I said with a smile curling up slowly from one side like the Mona Lisa. “Just one, the worst one. The one you have the most problems with. It will give us a chance to demonstrate our competency. How do you feel about that?”

After another long pause, she said, “Okay. Just one. Here is the manager’s name and number. The address is…” I was delighted. It had worked!
We went after that store with gusto. Our best tech solved their ‘Three compressor failures in six months problem.’ There were two problems, liquid migrating back to the crankcase and occasional Brown Outs. We installed a crankcase heater and phase protection. We eliminated the moisture in the system. We made the manager happy.

Barb said to me over lunch a month later, “Okay, I am going to give you guys another two stores. But don’t get your hopes up. I will never give you more than half the stores.” I was speechless. 20 stores! I could hardly contain my glee. Mona Lisa was gone. I am certain I looked more like Ronald McDonald at that point. “Fine,” I said with a big grin. I finished my pasta marinara with McChicken.

We talked about the Mariners.

All I could think about was the old proverb, “When the nose of the camel is in the tent, the rest of the camel isn’t far behind.”

Who else could I call?

Sales are like a four legged chair. The legs are: Trust, Relationship, Competence and Timing. If one of the legs is missing, we don’t sit too well or comfortably.
Mark Matteson

Matteson Avenue
Raising the Sales Bar in Organizations Worldwide

Email mark.enjoythejourney.matteson@gmail.com

www.mattesonavenue.com

Cell phone 206.697.0454